In other news, I made a big thing of soup last night. I mean a BIG THING. Of soup. I call it "soopl-du". And my plan was to bring a heapin' helpin' of its hospitality to work today, and eat it for lunch. SO OF COURSE I FORGOT IT. And of course I have no cash to buy lunch. And if I go to the gym tonight without eating first my stomach will explode or something. Possibly I could mug somebody, who knows.
Irritatingly, the industrial complex where I work has only crappy chain stores within walking distance, so my meal choices are limited to shitholes like McDonald's, Subway, and 7-11. Also, my office is right in between two huge high schools, so when school is in session I have to compete for my processed, cruddy chain-food with about ten hundred thousand slack-jawed teens. GIVE ME MY QUARTER POUNDER WITH CHEESE! GIVE ME.
There is a locally owned, independent hot dog joint called Pipo's. And I really, really want to like it. It's local, it's family-owned, it's not a chain, it has a cute counter-girl, and it has lots of Chicagoey food. But it sucks. It sucks so bad. Their food is just totally crappy. I can't like it no matter how much I try. THIS IS WHY IT'S SO TRAGIC THAT I FORGOT MY SOUP.
You may say this is of minimal importance when you look at the life of an Afghani child who has lost a leg to mines. I say screw that kid, I want a decent char cheddar dog. This is a million times worse than the worst thing that ever happened times ten.