Dennis "My Son Has a Black Friend" Prager laments the 'postmodernists' and 'feminist theorists' (quotes his) who have taken over our colleges and trained our daughters not to be heterosexuals.
Mike "I AM NOT A SCREECHING HYSTERIC!" S. Adams totally bites my style while criticizing the theological errors of a priest/professor at predominantly Catholic Gonzaga University who believes that God might be all turned around on this gay-hating thing.
Doug "The Jim Rome of Neoconservativism" Giles cites the always-reliable Washington Times as evidence that women are tired of those fruity, quasi-European metrosexual queerboys.
Warren "Yes, It's My Real Name" Throckmorton beefs that gays are demanding respect, but they refuse to respect people who think their existence is an affront to God.
But it's not all bad news! Bill "Golly Darn!" Murchison has discovered that students at the highly prestigious Princeton University -- not all of them southern Baptists -- are exploring the rich possibilities of abstinence.
It's morning in America, people! Don't find yourself waking up next to a same-sex partner! Or anybody, for that matter, unless you're married to them!