Gun-totin', Chronic-smokin' Hearse Initiator (ludickid) wrote,
Gun-totin', Chronic-smokin' Hearse Initiator

One of those numbered weekend recap posts which illustrate my withering attention span

1. Here's hoping a happy Mother's Day was had yesterday by my mom, and your mom, and my girlfriend's daughter's mom, and all moms everywhere, except the evil moms.

2. Yesterday, I experienced for the first time difficulty in completing a freelance assignment because I wasn't hip enough. Now, I know I'm an old, old, man, and I'm only getting old mannerer as the days drag on. And I also know that I would have had difficulty with this assignment even if I was 22, because it dealt with a subject of which I knew nothing even when I was young and marginally hip. But do you know how it makes me feel when I have to hit up young people of my aquaintance to get information about something I'm too decripit and lame to know anything about? It makes me feel OLD. Old like the Pyramids of Ghiza. Old like moldy cheddar. Old like the Queen Mother's mother's grandmama. Old like a Misfits t-shirt. Old like Phyllis Diller plus her jokes. Old like Strom Thurmond if he was still alive. Old as a caveman's underdrawers.

3. The weekend: dinner with thaitea and the IP Posse on Friday night at the Fireside, to celebrate her birthday -- good food, weak Scotch. Walked around on Saturday for a while enjoying the gorgeous weather, then decided I'd had enough of that and came back inside to play video games for a while. About which see next section. Then over to rum_holiday's place for Cities & Knights of Catan -- the second game (brilliantly played by Andrea in one of the most impressive wins I've seen her make) was okay, since I was competitive the entire time and came pretty close to winning if she hadn't completely outmaneuvered me towards the end. The first one, though, was absolutely fucking brutal. I was creamed, reamed, fucked and sucked from Roll #1, and never even came close to making anything happen. My entire moves for the game, and this is no exaggeration, consistied of rebuilding one city and upgrading two knights which ended up availing me naught. That's it. The rest of the game, I was just a spectator. I felt like (insert crappy sports team here). Sunday, I had breakfast with my pal Lara and then holed up in my room the rest of the day polishing off freelance assignments and writing proposals, while outside, God arranged an especially gorgeous day to punish me. It's the writer's life for me!

4. Speaking of video games, I finally fucking beat the "Farewell My Love..." mission in GTA: San Andreas! I know this impresses no one, since those of you who hate video games don't know what I'm talking about and those of you who like them probably finished the whole goddamn game six months ago and are patiently awaiting GTA: Bossier City, Louisiana already, but this fucking thing stymied me so much that I actually stopped playing for a good three months or so and was sure I'd never do it. Anyway, it's over now, I'm firmly entrenched in San Fierro working for Jizzy and Woozy and the rest of these comically-named gangsters, and my definition of "impossible mission" has now been safely entrusted to the capable hands of David "Zero" Cross. (NOTE: I realize this paragraph is totally incomprehensible to most of you. So be it.)

5. Don't dream about certain LiveJournalers on my friends list (guess who and win a prize!), because in the dream they will tell you their life story and make you late for the airport. Do check out the Yahoo! News/USA Today 'snapshots' page, for a whole bunch of asinine infographics:

What to restaurant diners want?
Are adults outpacing children?
What air-safety measures do you welcome?
Does your mom love baking cookies most?
What is the most common state tree?

(The answers, in case you were wondering, are should be: "food", "I'd say they've already outpaced children, merely by virtue of being adults", "none", "no", and "who gives a fuck?".)
Tags: diary

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