3. Slow Death.
THREE SCREEN NAMES YOU HAVE HAD:
THREE PHYSICAL THINGS YOU LIKE ABOUT YOURSELF:
1. I have decent wrists.
2. I'm pretty strong for a girl.
3. I'm tallish.
THREE PHYSICAL THINGS YOU DON'T LIKE ABOUT YOURSELF:
1. My weight.
2. My appearance.
3. My mortality.
THREE PARTS OF YOUR HERITAGE:
1. Saudi Arabian.
2. Irish. Possibly.
3. Indeterminate southern white trash.
THREE THINGS THAT SCARE YOU:
2. Angry dogs.
3. Gun-toting midgets.
THREE OF YOUR EVERYDAY ESSENTIALS:
1. Hot shower.
THREE THINGS YOU ARE WEARING RIGHT NOW:
1. Gray boxer-briefs.
2. Steel-toed boots.
3. White wifebeater.
THREE OF YOUR FAVORITE BANDS OR MUSICAL ARTISTS:
2. Wu-Tang Clan.
3. The Minutemen.
THREE OF YOUR FAVORITE SONGS:
1. "The Grunt, Parts 1 & 2" by the JBs.
2. "Hence the Box" by Vomit Launch.
3. "Love's Gonna Getcha (Material Love)" by Boogie Down Productions.
THREE THINGS YOU WANT IN A RELATIONSHIP:
1. Mutual love, lust and respect.
2. That feeling you get when
3. Patience and empathy on both sides.
TWO TRUTHS AND A LIE (in no particular order):
1. I miss college sometimes.
2. My first curse word was "cocksucker".
3. My dad's new wife is a millionaire.
THREE PHYSICAL THINGS ABOUT THE PREFERRED SEX THAT APPEAL TO YOU
1. The eyes. It's all in the eyes.
2. Underarms. Sorry, folks, it's just a sick thing I have.
3. There's something about a good profile. Like, a facial profile, not an online dating profile.
THREE OF YOUR FAVORITE HOBBIES:
3. Let's say keeping score at baseball games, since those first two are really more life-consuming obsessions than they are hobbies.
THREE THINGS YOU WANT TO DO REALLY BADLY RIGHT NOW:
1. Leave work.
2. Win the lottery.
3. Make out with my girlfriend.
THREE CAREERS YOU'RE CONSIDERING/YOU'VE CONSIDERED:
1. Argumentative lawyer.
2. Argumentative college professor.
3. Argumentative bookstore owner.
THREE PLACES YOU WANT TO GO ON VACATION:
THREE KID'S NAMES YOU LIKE:
THREE THINGS YOU WANT TO DO BEFORE YOU DIE:
1. Publish a crappy novel.
2. Travel to Europe.
3. Stand in a building where humans lived over a thousand years ago.
THREE WAYS THAT YOU ARE STEREOTYPICALLY A BOY:
2. I like having sex with women.
3. I am generally not interested in/skillful at fashion or interior design.
THREE WAYS THAT YOU ARE STEREOTYPICALLY A CHICK:
1. I think most typically macho behavior is asinine.
2. I like cooking and domesticity.
3. I think cooperation is more useful than competition. Except in sports!
THREE CELEB CRUSHES:
1. Uma Thurman.
2. Janeane Garofalo, pre-2001.
3. Joan Jett, Carrie Brownstein, Kathleen Hanna, Donna Dresch, Donita Sparks, and pretty much any other female rock musician who is a lesbian or probably a lesbian.
THREE PEOPLE THAT I WOULD LIKE TO SEE TAKE THIS QUIZ NOW: