2. Man, I wish all of you could come to my imminent patio sale. I have so much total crap I would love to have cluttering up your home instead of mine. You would vomit all over yourself with delight with the amazing gewgaws I will be unloading on unsuspecting Chicagoans.
(ETA: Another reason is that it will be fun! Like Foppl's siege party, except without whipping natives to death! We'll go make out in the empty apartments in my now-deserted building! We'll get junk food from every dive within walking distance! We'll get really, really drunk!)
3. You should be reading the Pindeldyboz website, edited by my awesome girlfriend ninafarina, on a regular basis. But you must take a look over the July 4th holiday week. It's gonna be something special.
4. Speaking of things you can do, you can go to Evanston, IL on Sunday, July 17th, and go to the Evanston Ethnic Arts Festival. Why would you do that? I dunno. Maybe you like crafts, or folk dancing, or feeling alternately smug and guilty. Or maybe you want to hear me read a story. Specifically, this story (and, time permitting, this one). Apparently, the city of Evanston is willing to claim that I am both ethnic and artsy, and I am willing to let them pay me money.
5. The House votes today on a proposed constitutional amendment that would ban desecration of the flag. The issue has come up in Congress on a regular basis ever since the Supreme Court ruled that burning the American flag is a constitutionally protected form of free speech. Supporters of the amendment, like Georgia Congressman Phil Gingrey, say that "to burn a flag is to disrespect America."
And, of course, it should be unconstitutional to disrespect America.