Gun-totin', Chronic-smokin' Hearse Initiator (ludickid) wrote,
Gun-totin', Chronic-smokin' Hearse Initiator
ludickid

THIS POLL IS CHILDISH AND EMBARRASSING

No, wait, that's religion.

ANSWER! OR GOD WILL KICK YOU!

Poll #521242 Gee, oh, double-dee bang! G-O-D spells God again!

Do you believe in God?

Yes, I am an adherent of a particular religion.
4(6.6%)
Yes, I am not loyal to any one faith, but I believe there is a God.
6(9.8%)
Yes, but I define God in a different way that most monotheistic religions.
3(4.9%)
Yes, and in fact, I believe in all sorts of crazy gods.
3(4.9%)
Yes, in a "spiritual" way or as a metaphor or somethin'.
5(8.2%)
That depends on what you mean by "God".
4(6.6%)
That depends on what you mean by "you", "believe", "God", and possibly "do".
4(6.6%)
I am a pussy-ass agnostic.
9(14.8%)
No, I am an atheist.
15(24.6%)
No, I am just a jerk.
4(6.6%)
Yes, but I don't worship him: I'm a Satanist, or I have a death wish or something.
0(0.0%)
I believe in whatever load of shit you're shoveling, brother.
0(0.0%)
Yes, but I mean it in a snotty way I think is funny, like my pet parrot is named God.
0(0.0%)
I'm not sure what I believe, even though I'm a grown-ass person.
4(6.6%)
No speak Engliss.
0(0.0%)

If you self-identify as religious, what is your faith?

Catholic
1(5.3%)
Protestant
2(10.5%)
Mormon
1(5.3%)
Christian, non-denominational
4(21.1%)
Jewish
3(15.8%)
Muslim
0(0.0%)
Buddhist
1(5.3%)
Hindu
0(0.0%)
Jain
0(0.0%)
Shintoist
0(0.0%)
Tribal religion
1(5.3%)
Pagan/Wiccan/some crazy hippie religion
1(5.3%)
Jedi
2(10.5%)
New Age
0(0.0%)
Some other kind of dipshit religion
2(10.5%)

If you self-identify as "spiritual but not religious", what does that mean?

Were you raised to be religious?

Yes, I was raised Catholic
15(26.3%)
Yes, I was raised Protestant
12(21.1%)
Yes, I was raised some other kind of Christian
8(14.0%)
Yes, I was raised Jewish
2(3.5%)
Yes, I was raised Muslim
0(0.0%)
Yes, I was raised Hindu
0(0.0%)
Yes, I was raised some kinda crazy hippie religion with leg hair and fucking
0(0.0%)
Yes, I was raised Buddhist
0(0.0%)
Yes, I was raised by fatuous New Age ding-dongs (I love you, mom and dad!)
0(0.0%)
Yes, I was raised in some other faith which I will yell at you in the Comments section for forgetting
0(0.0%)
Yes, I was raised Satanist
0(0.0%)
No, my parents were dirty stinking hellbound atheists
4(7.0%)
No, my parents "let me decide" and that's why I'm going to hell to burn forever
5(8.8%)
No, my parents forgot to tell me what our religion was
4(7.0%)
No, I was raised by animals
0(0.0%)

Is this poll super-offensive?

Yes
1(1.8%)
Yes, and you're fat
4(7.0%)
Yes, you hellbound sinner, I hope it brings you lots of laughs when you're wrapped in a sheet of burning flame
3(5.3%)
Yes, but God bless you anyway
7(12.3%)
Maybe if you threw in a joke about diddling the Pope
42(73.7%)

Do you ever go to church/synagoge/mosque/religious service of your preference?

God, no
4(6.6%)
Hell, no
17(27.9%)
Just regular no
10(16.4%)
Only if my parents beg me
3(4.9%)
Only if someone gets married or dies
15(24.6%)
Sometimes, like on holidays or if there's a rummage sale
10(16.4%)
Yes, but not weekly
1(1.6%)
Yes, weekly
0(0.0%)
Yes, more than weekly
0(0.0%)
I'm at church right now
1(1.6%)

Has your faith or lack thereof ever cause conflicts with your family, friends or significant whatnots?

No, we're all silky smooth 'bout it
6(10.0%)
No, we live and let live
16(26.7%)
No, because we all believe or fail to believe the same thing, things, or lack of things
6(10.0%)
No, because I have no family, friends or significant whatnots
1(1.7%)
No, because we solve all of our problems by fistfighting
1(1.7%)
Yes, I believe in [God configuration/definition/concept] and they don't
0(0.0%)
Yes, they believe in [God configuration/definition/concept] and I don't
8(13.3%)
Yes, we have the same faith but I am not as devout as they are
2(3.3%)
Yes, we have the same faith but they are not as devout as I am
0(0.0%)
Yes, 'cause they switched religions on me
1(1.7%)
Yes, 'cause I switched religions on them
0(0.0%)
We just never mention it ever to avoid screaming matches
5(8.3%)
Yes, because they are all dirty filthy hellbound sinners
0(0.0%)
Yes, because I am God and they refuse to worship me
0(0.0%)
We yell at each other so much, it's often hard to tell what the specific reason is
2(3.3%)
Tags: jeebus, polls
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