Gun-totin', Chronic-smokin' Hearse Initiator (ludickid) wrote,
Gun-totin', Chronic-smokin' Hearse Initiator
ludickid

The gallows are waiting for humor

Conversation with one of my London friends, selected highlights:

ME: Hey! Are you still alive?

JANE: No.

ME: I must have the wrong number, then.

***

ME: So, what's it like over there? Pretty insane?

JANE: Yeah. Luckily, I'm unemployed, so I never have to go anywhere.

ME: Everyone okay?

JANE: Everyone I know. Probably not the victims.

***

JANE: Hey, how come you never call me unless there's a terror attack?

ME: Your Catholic guilt won't work on me. I'm an atheist. Anyway, you live overseas. It costs a fortune to call you.

JANE: The last time you called me was when I was in New York on Sept. 11th. I still want to know why you never call me unless something blows up.

ME: Maybe a more pertinent question is why you're always around when there's a terrorist bombing.

***

ME: You should have stayed in Milton Keynes. Nobody's going to bomb Milton Keynes.

JANE: More's the pity.

***

ME: Okay, I'm gonna let you go. I'm losing your cell phone signal.

JANE: I blame the terrorists.

ME: You said your cell phone signal always sucks, though.

JANE: The terrorists really have it in for me.
Tags: diary, laffs
Subscribe

  • Why am I still doing this?

    #16. DJ AAK: Hey, new premise: let's get jobs! THE INTERNET: Vayner, an aspiring investment banker, sent a video titled "Impossible is…

  • You're all participating in a great experiment

    #11. DJ AAK: Enough of these comical fish-out-of-water assimilation scenarios. We need to get started on the mission. MC BOY: I'M ON A…

  • More of it

    #6. DJ AAK: All right, bitch, we need to culturally assimilate. MC BOY: HOW COME FOR YOU CALL ME A BITCH WHEN YOU ARE THE LADY AND I AM A…

  • Post a new comment

    Error

    default userpic

    Your IP address will be recorded 

    When you submit the form an invisible reCAPTCHA check will be performed.
    You must follow the Privacy Policy and Google Terms of use.
  • 22 comments

  • Why am I still doing this?

    #16. DJ AAK: Hey, new premise: let's get jobs! THE INTERNET: Vayner, an aspiring investment banker, sent a video titled "Impossible is…

  • You're all participating in a great experiment

    #11. DJ AAK: Enough of these comical fish-out-of-water assimilation scenarios. We need to get started on the mission. MC BOY: I'M ON A…

  • More of it

    #6. DJ AAK: All right, bitch, we need to culturally assimilate. MC BOY: HOW COME FOR YOU CALL ME A BITCH WHEN YOU ARE THE LADY AND I AM A…