Gun-totin', Chronic-smokin' Hearse Initiator (ludickid) wrote,
Gun-totin', Chronic-smokin' Hearse Initiator
ludickid

The gallows are waiting for humor

Conversation with one of my London friends, selected highlights:

ME: Hey! Are you still alive?

JANE: No.

ME: I must have the wrong number, then.

***

ME: So, what's it like over there? Pretty insane?

JANE: Yeah. Luckily, I'm unemployed, so I never have to go anywhere.

ME: Everyone okay?

JANE: Everyone I know. Probably not the victims.

***

JANE: Hey, how come you never call me unless there's a terror attack?

ME: Your Catholic guilt won't work on me. I'm an atheist. Anyway, you live overseas. It costs a fortune to call you.

JANE: The last time you called me was when I was in New York on Sept. 11th. I still want to know why you never call me unless something blows up.

ME: Maybe a more pertinent question is why you're always around when there's a terrorist bombing.

***

ME: You should have stayed in Milton Keynes. Nobody's going to bomb Milton Keynes.

JANE: More's the pity.

***

ME: Okay, I'm gonna let you go. I'm losing your cell phone signal.

JANE: I blame the terrorists.

ME: You said your cell phone signal always sucks, though.

JANE: The terrorists really have it in for me.
Tags: diary, laffs
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    This will be my last entry of 2016.  Next year will begin, barring some unexpected act of fate, with the ascension to the presidency of Donald…

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