Gun-totin', Chronic-smokin' Hearse Initiator (ludickid) wrote,
Gun-totin', Chronic-smokin' Hearse Initiator
ludickid

You are not the kind of person who quotes Jay McInerney novels

You're awake. It's past midnight. You can't sleep a jot or tittle and you don't know why. You can't do any packing for fear of waking your roommate, and you're too frazzled to do any decent writing. Your girlfriend is asleep, you're broke, and it's hot as hell. What can you possibly do?

What, indeed, other than futz with your LJ interests list in order to fully rather than partially transform it into an endless agglomeration of pointless in-jokes and meaningless pseudoreference?

- "Annie Bridget McKenna": That's my girl's girl, and I think she's swell.

- "bad wushu dialogue": Like, for instance, when two people are sitting around a campfire, and they start talking about some arcane plot point involving characters we have never seen before in the film, and discussing a situation the details of which we, the viewers, are entirely unaware. And then one says "So you know what I'm talking about?" And the other says "Yes." And then the first says "Good. Then we don't have to discuss it any further." And that, apparently, is that.

- "being boring": A lot of people have this as a reference. I can't help it, myself, but I guess it's all the rage with the young kids today. What's next, deliberately contracting multiple sclerosis? Is such a thing even possible? I'm sure I don't know.

- "believing in things" and "not believing in things": Both equally pointless activities, to be sure, but they pass the time.

- "bitin' like Rich Kiel": This was a line in a freestyle rap I composed yesterday while carrying heavy boxes around a wearhouse. The full four bars went "bitin' like Rich Kiel/livin' in Litchfield/makin' your bitch feel/bad like a Hitch spiel", and it was about sucka MCs.

- "breaking kayfabe": Written to read "breaking kayfabe for no reason", but LJ imposes a length limitation on interests.

- "Catantrums": A word that rum_holiday, her husband and I use to describe a fit someone throws when things don't go their way while playing Cities & Knights of Catan. Another Catan slang we use is "newspaper game", which is one where you're so out of it, with so little chance to win or make any progress, that you might as well just read the newspaper.

- "crying Vegeta": God, I miss him.

- "doin' it": I can't believe no one else has this listed as an interest. Come on! Who doesn't like doin' it?

- "eating beyond my means": How did you get to be such a fat guy, sometimes people ask me. The truth is, because I've always been a fat guy, and I eat too much crap and don't get enough exercise. But a more elegant answer, which is only partly a lie, is that I may be an impoverished urbanite, but I have the tastes of a grand gourmand. Thus, I do stuff like eat homemade French cuisine, prepare elaborate five-course meals for small, brief dinner parties, and spend money on premium ingredients for meals that might otherwise go to, I don't know, paying bills, or not dying in a gutter. I eat beyond my means. Thus, happy fat guy!

- "getting defensive about postmodernism": Sure, I do this, and I'm not proud of it, but the amazing thing is that it coasted in under the length requirement.

- "idealized ratedness": Everything is either overrated or underrated. I'm interested in coming up with a critical approach that ensures that everything is rated exactly right, to end all this a-fussin' and a-feudin' so we can all live together in peace, hey.

- "saying 'you're funny'": I love it when you're having a conversation with someone, and you say something funny, and then they say "You're funny!". So now we both know!

- "Shauna Lynne McKenna": That's my girl, and I think she's tops.

- "zombie irony": It keeps dying and then coming back to life again and then dying and coming back to life. Clearly, irony is a zombie. (Actually, "comic book supervillain irony" works even better, but it's too long and lacks a certain punchiness.

I have many more interests that seem to make no sense. And in fact, they do make no sense, except to me, but this is the place to ask if you want me to try and make them make sense to you. Also, tell me about your interests that don't make sense. What, you're too BUSY? Please.
Tags: trivium
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  • 13 comments

  • I'm too stoned to give a full accounting

    I went to Austin this weekend. As you may know, my beloved first-generation iPod, Misty II, fatally deceased herself recently, and I got a new 80G…

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