Sucks to be you, don't it?
Dear Jarrett Keene,
What the holy hell is this? I'm glad you liked the book, and good for your for your totally non-patronizing belief that someone can be a wife and mother and still be interesting, and thanks for your unique perspective that you think differently about things now that you're not 20 anymore. But in what universe do you think it's appropriate to start a book review by noting that you'd like to fuck the author? (Thanks to fengi for the heads-up on this.)
Dear James Lileks,
I dress casually in the summer, because it’s hot. But for the last few years I’ve returned to good slacks and decent shoes and a crisp shirt and a tie. Grown-up clothes. Dad clothes. A man ought to be able to put on a shirt and tie without thinking he’s putting on a costume to deal with The Man; he should regard it as the Rainments of Masculinity, the costume we wear to project the impression of seriousness. If we’re not serious, it’ll be apparent quite soon. Likewise if we’re a peacock, a grifter, a poseur, a drone, a cog – the uniform only says that you’re part of the hard plain world, not whether or not you really belong there. I just know that I feel different in a shirt and tie. I stand up straighter. I don’t feel as though I’m owed more respect; on the contrary, I feel obliged to be more respectful. It’s hard to describe, but to paraphrase a drunken Marge Simpson after six Long Island Iced Teas – you guys in the audience, you know what I’m talking about.
What on earth does this mean?
Dear Ricky Williams,
Classy apology and all, but I'm not sure I get why it was needed. In almost any other profession in the world, you would not be harshly criticized (vilified, even) for declaring that your job was unfulfilling, your work was making you miserable, and that you wanted to take time off to explore other possibilities. Why do you find it necessary to pander to these sack-of-shit sports fans and media who don't give a fuck about you?
(Peripheral question: Dear sports fans, why do you think it's okay for an athlete to drive drunk, steal, spout all sorts of racist or sexist or homophobic nonsense, commit acts of violence, or rape women, but the one thing you can't forgive is an athlete expressing the opinon that there might be more rewarding things in life than sports? Doesn't that say a little too much about your priorities?)
Dear black Mormons,
Ha ha, are you nuts?