Remember that story you wrote in Web of Spider-Man #34, about Spider-Man entering a neighborhood football game with a bunch of kids, and it turned out the Watcher and some Skrull fuckwad were betting on it with the stakes being the fate of the universe? It was called “Fourth and Infinity” or “Fourth and Eternity” or some goddamn thing, and it was pretty cretinous even by your standards. What was up with that?
Even though I complain about you all the time, I realize that I am incredibly lucky to live where and when I do, and to have intelligent and interesting friends, and to be dating an incredibly wonderful woman with the world’s greatest kid. You know I love you, right?
Dear the Chicago White Sox,
Good work so far. Can you hook a brother up with playoff tickets?