Gun-totin', Chronic-smokin' Hearse Initiator (ludickid) wrote,
Gun-totin', Chronic-smokin' Hearse Initiator

My notes from "MISS TEEN UNIVERSE"

MISS ARGENTINA. Nice attitude, bitch. Like we care about your country’s stupid problems.

MISS GEORGIA. I’m glad medical technology is on the upswing in the former Soviet republics, but I’m not sure if the leg prosthetic works for me. Nice tits though.

MISS INDONESIA. The tsunami-themed swimsuit motif was hilarious!

MISS KENYA. I’m giving her a six because I really had to go to the bathroom and I missed her evening gown. It’s not like she would have won anyway.

MISS YEMEN. I could do without the chador, but I liked her answer to the question ‘Why do your people hate freedom?’

MISS GERMANY. If I wanted a big lecture about my so-called ‘responsibility’ to ‘steward’ the ‘environment’, I’d be a judge at the Miss Teen Dirty Hippie awards! Give me a break. Also, her ass is crooked on one side.

MISS LATVIA. Boy, that national anthem just goes on and on, doesn’t it?

MISS SUDAN. Boo hoo. Your sob stories are no excuse for choking in the poise category, Little Miss I Lost Both My Parents to Land Mines.

MISS SRI LANKA. I asked Mr. Jack of Mr. Jack’s Evening Gowns for Juniors where Sri Lanka was. He says it’s somewhere around India, but he wasn’t sure if it was dot-India or feather-India. Either way, the tiger-stripe bikini was smokin’, and for talent, she put a pipe bomb together in five seconds flat! She could stand to smile a little more, though.

MISS GONZOLIA. I’ve actually never heard of this country, but man, she’s a hottie. We’re going to meet in my room afterwards, and she said she’d bring two friends and my credit cards back.
Tags: laffs, lay-teez

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