VISHNU: "No, no, no. I'm the preserver. You want to talk to Shiva."
SHIVA: "Hey, I had nothing to do with that. I have my hands full over here in southern Asia. I've still got mountains of paperwork after that tsunami, the last thing I want to do is add to my troubles. Bangladesh alone keeps me busy pretty much 24/7."
POSEIDON: "Why is it every time something goes wrong involving the ocean, you people come and see me? Why don't you ever come around and say 'hey, thanks, Poseidon, for all the delicious seafood'? Or 'thanks for the life-sustaining water cycle'? No, it's like clockwork: there's a flood or a typhoon or an oil spill, and they send some junior reporter to grill the god of the sea. You know what? I'm sick of it. You can address all your future inquiries to my attorneys."
LARRY STORCH: "Uh, I'm not a god. I'm a beloved TV character actor best known for playing Cpl. Agar on F Troop. But I'm not dead! In fact, you can see me in the Anthony Michael Hall vehicle Funny Valentine, also starring Lord Jamal from Brand Nubian! Do you want a press kit? Hello?"