Gun-totin', Chronic-smokin' Hearse Initiator (ludickid) wrote,
Gun-totin', Chronic-smokin' Hearse Initiator
ludickid

The Butterhead Legacy

As you know, I went to the Minnesota State Fair last weekend with my girlfriend and her kid. As you also know, it was a priority for me, because I am a big fan of pointless absurdity, to see the butter sculptures of the Dairy Princess beauty pageant winners (or, as they are officially called, "PRINCESS KAY OF THE MILKY WAY" winners).

What you may not know is what actually happens to the 90-pound busts (you know what I mean, sewerhead) after the Fair is over. Well, wonder no more. Note: I swear unto everyting I hold dear I am not making any of these up. These are actual responses from former Princesses Kay of the Milky Way. Learn, fools.

"Mine was the first butter sculpture promotion at the Fair. Later that year it was used at various dairy events, and then broken up." (Mary Ann Titrud Springer, Princess Kay of the Milky Way 1965, Todd County, MN)

"My butter head was in the barn for the winter. A neighbor came over to check the farm, saw the butter head, and called the police!" (Linda Kottke, Princess Kay of the Milky Way 1966, McLeod County, MN)

"My grandmother chopped it up, piece by piece, to make Christmas cookies for everyone in the community." (Juliet Tessmer Garbow, Princess Kay of the Milky Way 1974, Hennepin County, MN)

"I still have the face." (Jean Lindig Kessler, Princess Kay of the Milky Way 1980, Pine County, MN)

"Prior to cutting and repackaging the butter for baking, I refashioned the nose; it had been flattened by the box. Before we could take a comparison photo of me with the sculpture sporting the nose I always wanted, our dog took a bite, taking only the nose!" (Janet Forner Bosch, Princess Kay of the Milky Way 1982, Carver County, MN)

"I donated it to my church for a missions fundraiser pancake breakfast." (Katie Scott Johnson, Princess Kay of the Milky Way 1989, West Otter Tail County, MN)

"We hosted a 'Butter Head Melt-Down' and served sweet corn. People rolled their ears of corn on my head." (Bridget Hollermann, Princess Kay of the Milky Way 2000, Pope County, MN)

God bless you girls, every one.
Tags: junk
Subscribe

  • The Party of What People?

    This will be my last entry of 2016.  Next year will begin, barring some unexpected act of fate, with the ascension to the presidency of Donald…

  • Anno Terribilis

    2016, the little year that absolutely could not, is almost over, and with the exception of people for whom it was a raging success —…

  • Shalom and the Jewish Jesus

    Shalom Auslander got the best possible start on having a sickly fatalistic sense of humor:  he was a miserable Jew from the day he was born. As…

  • Post a new comment

    Error

    default userpic

    Your IP address will be recorded 

    When you submit the form an invisible reCAPTCHA check will be performed.
    You must follow the Privacy Policy and Google Terms of use.
  • 11 comments

  • The Party of What People?

    This will be my last entry of 2016.  Next year will begin, barring some unexpected act of fate, with the ascension to the presidency of Donald…

  • Anno Terribilis

    2016, the little year that absolutely could not, is almost over, and with the exception of people for whom it was a raging success —…

  • Shalom and the Jewish Jesus

    Shalom Auslander got the best possible start on having a sickly fatalistic sense of humor:  he was a miserable Jew from the day he was born. As…