It’s a ‘dramedy’, or, if you prefer, a ‘coma’, and it’s called The Stock Room. It would be a one-hour show that deftly combines comedic and dramatic elements in a way not seen since the golden era of Beverly Hills 90210. A brief rundown of the plot:
Our hero, Generically Handsome Upper-Middle-Class Young Single Professional, works in an office in a demographically desirable metropolitan statistical area. His duties include acting in a professional capacity for his boss, Impossibly Creepy Middle-Aged Jerk, flirting shamelessly with his co-worker, Bottle Blonde Ball-Busting Career Woman, and acting as a sort of mentor to the hapless Nerdy And Slightly Unattractive Guy Who Does Technical Work Of Some Sort. Occasionally, Gene interacts with other people at his professional office building – minor characters like Less Attractive And Mildly Sarcastic Peer, Hideous Rude Old Secretary, and Godlike Old Plutocratic Owner Who Shows Up Every Month Or So To Be Fawned Over. He doesn’t really like his job very much, but he stays there anyway because, darn it, they’re a family.
But at home, it’s a whole different story! In his funky apartment in a hip section of his demographically desirable metropolitan statistical area, he leads a double life – for you see, when professional office hours are over, Gene is transformed into a Currently Popular Sport, Recreation Or Hobby Enthusiast! He can’t tell the squares at the office, because they’d never understand, in their buttoned-down professional world, that Gene is really a rebel, a bad boy, a little bit…dangerous. The only ones who understand him are his friends: friends like Handsome But Arrogant Popular Activity Rival, Sexy Female Neighbor With Whom He Has A Lot Of Semi-Hostile Sexual Tension, Embittered But Still Oddly Friendly Ex-Girlfriend, Bizarre Socially Maladjusted Neighbor Across The Hall, and of course, his roommate, Wisecracking Short Guy Who Shares The Apartment Even Though They Both Make Tons Of Money.
That might not be enough to get them through the passion, pleasures, treats and trials of a modern urban life. They’ve still got to contend with Psycho Ex Who Isn’t Even That Pretty, Crazy But Humorous Foreign Landlord, Hip Grandma Who Always Makes Pop-Culture References Or Sexual Comments, and Mysterious Guy Who Comes Around Every So Often And All The Chicks Dig On Him. But with the help of Former Alcoholic Mentor Possessed Of Zenlike Wisdom, Parents Who Constantly Nag At You But Really They Totally Love And Support You, Late-Season Replacement Cute Kid, and of course, The Black Guy, they may just make things add up…in The Stock Room.
Is it gold, or is it goddamn gold?
Casting, though, that’s gonna be a bitch.