1. It is not only possible, but very easy, to kill someone with a pair of eyeglasses.
2. If you have a diabetic stroke, it will give you super-powers.
3. If you make out with an ill-tempered bastard while preparing gnocchi, eventually you will be shot in the chest.
4. There is no situation in which it is inappropriate to scream "NOOOOOOOOO!" to the heavens.
5. If you become a ruthless mafia don who alienates his family while trying to protect them, you will die alone in a folding chair and a dog will eat your hat.
Truly, these are lessons for the ages.