Gun-totin', Chronic-smokin' Hearse Initiator (ludickid) wrote,
Gun-totin', Chronic-smokin' Hearse Initiator
ludickid

The Republic of French Stereotypes

So my invisible pal calamityjon and his wifely wife superdaintykate are in Paris, the City of Lights, with manningkrull and tamisevens. (I think littlewashu is still there too, but I may be wrong. I can't keep track of that crazy kid's comings, goings and in-betweenings.)

I am assuming, and I think you'll all join me in this assumption, that when Jon returns, he will:

1. Be wearing a horizontally-striped black and white sweater, a beret, and a neckerchief.
2. Be carrying a grocery bag with a baguette sticking out of the top.
3. Speak in a pronounced nasal accent.
4. Be really snooty and condescending about America.
5. Quickly surrender to anyone even remotely threatening.
6. Have a mistress.
7. Eat snails and drink wine constantly.
8. Love Jerry Lewis.
9. Hate the English.
10. Smoke ghastly-smelling unfiltered cigarettes by the truckload.

Come on, kids! This is your Tuesday Timewaster: What other outrageously stereotypical French habits will Jon acquire in Paris? And, if that gets too boring, what if Jon and Kate take side trips to Rome? Berlin? London? Moscow?

GO!
Tags: junk, laffs
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  • Dueling: The Interminable Continuation

    More nuggets: - Abraham Lincoln almost fought a duel once. He wrote an anonymous letter protesting Illinois tax policy, and the law's sponsor found…

  • Dueling: the Fascinating Facts

    So I'm reading this book on the history of dueling. It's called Gentlemen's Blood and is written in an amusing high-whoopsie style by historian…

  • The Death of Irony, Chapter XXXVIII

    Here is a nice passage from Sore Winners, a surprisingly thoughtful book of essays on post-9/11 culture by John Powers, a film critic and editor at…