Gun-totin', Chronic-smokin' Hearse Initiator (ludickid) wrote,
Gun-totin', Chronic-smokin' Hearse Initiator
ludickid

Twelve Steps to Stupid!

Hey, everybody! Let's play this fun new game I just made up called TWELVE STEPS TO STUPID! It's like "Six Degrees of Kevin Bacon", only more stupid! Here's how it works:

1. Go to Allmusic.com. Look up some musician, preferably a distinctive, unique, or extreme one.
2. Scroll down to the "Similar Artists" section and follow a link, with the goal of finding someone as far removed from where you started as possible. Repeat.
3. After twelve go-rounds, you should have someone that sounds absolutely nothing like the band you started with. Once you've gotten from step 1 to step 12, the farther away you are from the style and sound you began with, the better.

Examples:


Horrifically blasphemous Norwegian black metal mavens Marduk to inoffensive techno-reggae popsters Renegade Soundwave in twelve steps
MARDUK – THERION – KING CRIMSON – PANTERA – D.R.I. – ALL – MIGHTY MIGHTY BOSSTONES – THE SKATALITES – ROLAND ALPHONSO – SLY & ROBBIE - DUB SYNDICATE - RENEGADE SOUNDWAVE

Noisy avant-garde Japanese free jazz guitarist Keiji Haino to chirpy, chart-topping Ravi Shankar offspring Norah Jones in twelve steps
KEIJI HAINO – JOHN ZORN – DON CHERRY – JOHN COLTRANE – ERIC DOLPHY – WOODY SHAW – WYNTON MARSALIS – CHRISTOPHER HOLLYDAY – STEVE COLEMAN – CASSANDRA WILSON - DIANA KRALL - NORAH JONES

Nihilistic gangsta rappers the Geto Boys to ultra-bland, Paula-Abdul-fucking "American Idol" crooner Corey Clark in twelve steps
GETO BOYS – DJ QUIK –SNOOP DOGGY DOGG – WARREN G – COOLIO – SKEE-LO – YOUNG MC – DJ JAZZY JEFF & THE FRESH PRINCE - MARKY MARK & THE FUNKY BUNCH – VANILLA ICE - MC SKAT KAT & THE STRAY MOB - COREY CLARK

Shit-stained, frequently imprisoned junkie corpse G.G. Allin to yawn-inducing M.O.R. song stylist Melissa Manchester in twelve steps
G.G. ALLIN AND THE SCUMFUCS – GUNS & ROSES – CINDERELLA – WHITE LION – BRITNY FOX – EUROPE – MR. MISTER – SHEENA EASTON – LAURA BRANIGAN – MELISSA MANCHESTER

Radicalized pro-Arab noise-electronica purveyor Muslimgauze to Dollywood-based whitebread Christian gospel singers Kingdom Heirs in twelve steps
MUSLIMGAUZE – K.K. NULL – MELT-BANANA – THE MARS VOLTA – SYSTEM OF A DOWN – LIMP BIZKIT – P.O.D. – SACKCLOTH FASHION – GOSPEL GANGSTAZ – WOODY ROCK - MEN OF STANDARD - KINGDOM HEIRS

Now you try! Cough up your best TWELVE STEPS TO STUPID!
Tags: music
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  • 13 comments

  • HONK

    If I was to wish someone a happy birthday today, would it be crepedelbebe? You're goddamn right it would.

  • I'm too stoned to give a full accounting

    I went to Austin this weekend. As you may know, my beloved first-generation iPod, Misty II, fatally deceased herself recently, and I got a new 80G…

  • Notes from a day

    * Stringing a crossbow is usually considered a two-man job. But when one of the two men is me, the other man is unnecessary. Also, it is possible to…