Gun-totin', Chronic-smokin' Hearse Initiator (ludickid) wrote,
Gun-totin', Chronic-smokin' Hearse Initiator
ludickid

He's got jingle bells! KILL HIM!

Man, I try not to post more than one piece of hysterical right-wing blither in one day, but this one, courtesy of fiberpunk, is just too good not to link. It's from Human Events Online, and it's a continuation of the ridiculous conservative meme that liberals are trying to outlaw Christmas. It's noteworthy for its utterly laughable premise -- it's 2030, and the ACLU and the Islamofascists have totally banned Xmas -- and the fact that it was written by a rabbi.

There's just so much to love here, I leave it to you to find and laugh at your favorite asinine head-exploding line, but here are a couple of my faves:

- The fact that the store clerk has to give Rabbi Shitstain some secret Christmas wrapping paper under the counter, because it's been outlawed in favor of Hannukah, Kwanzaa and Eid paper. (For some reason, Hannukah is still celebrated even though it appears that Africans, atheists and Muslims are in charge of everything. Also, for some reason, the country is also apparently dominated by Latinos -- note all the references to Spanish-language signage -- but Christmas is outlawed, even though 99% of Latinos in the world are Catholics and celebrate Christmas, and in a much more religiously devout way than most Americans do.)

- The fact that the narrator grew up in the 1950s, but appears to have a school-aged grandchild in the 2030s.

- How we're asked to believe that the ACLU will take over America through the brutal deployment of political correctness, and American's inherent fear of the cruel taskmasters at the New York Times.

- The claim that conservatives can't get jobs in the media.

- How the narrator talks about "the complete demolition of our great American civilization", which appears to manifest itself, as he goes shopping in a suburban mall, in an inability to get Christian-themed wrapping paper off the rack.

- The description of ACLU Headquarters in 2030 as featuring statues of Ruth Bader Ginsberg and Mohammed, even though, of course, actual Islamic people forbid the display of images of their founder.

- The bizarre claim that the ACLU writes all the laws in America, despite the obvious increasing decay of civil liberties under the aegis of the Drug War, the USA-PATRIOT Act, and decades of tough-on-crime legislation.

- The even more bizarre and contradictory portrait of the future nightmare America: it's a socialist country now, but no one leaves because the money is too good; it's run by Islamist-sympathetic leftists, but there are still malls and Hollywood and churches everywhere.

- The hilarious 8th-grade renaming of locations: "Eurabia", "Londonstan", "Parisabia" and "Berlindad".

This is seriously one of the most absurd things I've ever read. Check it out and fall in love all over again.
Tags: politics
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  • The Party of What People?

    This will be my last entry of 2016.  Next year will begin, barring some unexpected act of fate, with the ascension to the presidency of Donald…

  • Anno Terribilis

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