Gun-totin', Chronic-smokin' Hearse Initiator (ludickid) wrote,
Gun-totin', Chronic-smokin' Hearse Initiator

What we learned from yesterday's poll

- A healthy 38% of you are agnostic as to the question of whether or not cannibals can distinguish racial and ethnic types by taste. A surprisingly low 7% of you found the whole notion grotesquely offensive, and pretty much no one entertained me be posting comments of hysterical outrage.

- Far more of you are coffee drinkers than not. Of those, more take it with cream than with sugar, cream and sugar, or neat. 10% of you weak sisters prefer tea, and 9% of you are bad-asses who go straight for the needle. Despite the fact that my friends list is crammed with urban liberals, none of you will cop to drinking lattes.

- On the other hand, betraying your true America-hating ways, a staggering 51% majority of you speak French, or at least claim to speak French. Five of you speak Klingon or Interlac, and none of you speak Chinese, which suggests you're looking a bit too far ahead. Only a couple of you were brave enough to admit you don't speak any foreign languages, but a staggering nine of you snooty fuckers speak Latin.

- In the matter of the Fat Boys' "Jailhouse Rap", it is very unsurprising to learn that the joke answer was the most popular, followed by a three-way tie between the answer which suggested I am a big loser, the answer which suggested I am an even bigger loser, and the answer which exculpated you by ignorance from having to provide a real answer. This is science, people, lend a hand.

- Correspondents were torn between whether the professional help that would benefit me the most would be that of an agent or an interior decorator.
Tags: trivium

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