Gun-totin', Chronic-smokin' Hearse Initiator (ludickid) wrote,
Gun-totin', Chronic-smokin' Hearse Initiator
ludickid

More stuff to annoy my girlfriend

In conjunction with calamityjon's Goodtime Laffs Factory (his entry here), it's...




NAME: Damien Hellstrom
CLUBS: German Society; Boy Scouts of America (Eagle); Young Satanists Club.
ACTIVITIES: Jazz Band (second guitar); DHS Hesher's Guild; Smoking Patio Maintenance Crew.
SPORTS: JV Basketball; Track & Field (javelin).
SENIOR QUOTE: "'Tis better to reign in hell than to serve in heaven."
BIO: The self-dubbed 'Son of Satan' (or 'Son of Kong', as some wags have called him) never lets you forget that his father is a very important man. His thrash-metal stylings are a selling point for his band, Demöniakk, but Mr. Penfield, the music teacher, says they don't quite work in "Stardust"!
AUTOGRAPHS
"You guys rock!!!11!! P.S. Call me, okay?" -- Patsy Walker
"Always reach 4 the stars + SURF NAKED!" -- Bill Howardstein
"Have a great summer, and don't get on Eric Payne's case too much when you guys are working together at the Orange Julius. XXOO" -- Jan van Dyne
"WHAT UP BIG D -- DEMöNIAKK *WILL ROCK* SANTA BARBARA COMMUNITY COLLEGE WeST CAmopUS" -- Johnny Blaze



NAME: Barbara Norriss
CLUBS: German Society; Junior Norsemen; Girls In The Trades.
ACTIVITIES: Industrial Arts; Volunteer Construction Crew (New Gym, Ladies' Sports Annex, Armory); Theatre (1-4); Quill & Staff (4).
SPORTS: Girls' Rugby (Varsity); Ladies' Golf (Varsity); Ladies' Tennis (JV); Girls' Hockey (Varsity); Boys' Football (court order).
SENIOR QUOTE: "O goddess, from my heart remove/the wasting cares and pains of love."
BIO: Big Babs is a godsend to the Black Goliaths' championship golf and hockey teams, and is also a lesser though legally required addition to the football team. She's developed quite a close friendship with Patsy Walker over senior year! Odds are you'll find her writing poetry under a tree near the quad, or when it's time to show her sensitive side, molding a '72 Buick front fender into a stylish belt in Mr. Homolka's metal shop.
AUTOGRAPHS
"Hey, Barbara -- it was mostly great to have you on the team this year! Remember when you sacked me during a practice game and broke three of my ribs so I couldn't play the rest of the year? Some of the guys are still talking about that!" -- Kyle Richmond
"Thanks for being a friend. And please stop beating yourself up over my fish, cockatiel and dog dying when you house-sat in October." -- Isaac Christian
"JACK AND COKE BEHInD tHE BURGerKING PARKINGLot WhooooOOO!" -- Johnny Blaze
"Have a blessed summer, Barbara! It's been great getting to know you this year! I hope we can spend more time together, but I'm not sure where I'll be over the break, so you probably shouldn't call, or come by my father's store." -- Patsy Walker



NAME: Warren Worthington III
CLUBS: Junior Achievement (president); We-Own-U Networking for Teens; Junior Republicans; Young Americans for Freedom.
ACTIVITIES: Student Council (Vice-President 3; President 4); Yearbook Staff (editor 2, 3, 4); Birdwatchers Club; Future Plutocrats Dinner Mixer fundraiser; Prom King (3, 4).
SPORTS: Football (JV); Golf (Varsity).
SENIOR QUOTE: "Virtue has never been as respectable as money."
BIO: Dreamboat Warren is certainly the big man on campus this year. With his money, good looks and fancy car (though we never see him driving it...), why wouldn't he be? Despite his flawed fashion sense (what's with all the bulky overcoats?), we still want to know: did it hurt when he fell from heaven?
AUTOGRAPHS
"U + ME = TLA" -- Candy Southern
"Hi-ho, Double Dub! What say you and I race out to that too, too charming club up in East Point? I'll see you at work this summer...NOT!" -- Stephen Strange
"Hulk demand rematch on links! Hulk use lob wedge instead of sand wedge! Hulk win little gold man!" -- Bruce Banner
"Hey, motherfucker, thanks for letting me sign your motherfucking yearbook! I notice I'm not in it! And neither is anyone else who looks like me! Just like at your motherfucking country club, you cracker-ass honky faggot!" -- Luke Cage
Tags: comics, geek, laffs
Subscribe

  • The Party of What People?

    This will be my last entry of 2016.  Next year will begin, barring some unexpected act of fate, with the ascension to the presidency of Donald…

  • Anno Terribilis

    2016, the little year that absolutely could not, is almost over, and with the exception of people for whom it was a raging success —…

  • Shalom and the Jewish Jesus

    Shalom Auslander got the best possible start on having a sickly fatalistic sense of humor:  he was a miserable Jew from the day he was born. As…

  • Post a new comment

    Error

    default userpic

    Your IP address will be recorded 

    When you submit the form an invisible reCAPTCHA check will be performed.
    You must follow the Privacy Policy and Google Terms of use.
  • 17 comments

  • The Party of What People?

    This will be my last entry of 2016.  Next year will begin, barring some unexpected act of fate, with the ascension to the presidency of Donald…

  • Anno Terribilis

    2016, the little year that absolutely could not, is almost over, and with the exception of people for whom it was a raging success —…

  • Shalom and the Jewish Jesus

    Shalom Auslander got the best possible start on having a sickly fatalistic sense of humor:  he was a miserable Jew from the day he was born. As…