Gun-totin', Chronic-smokin' Hearse Initiator (ludickid) wrote,
Gun-totin', Chronic-smokin' Hearse Initiator

Gomn mothuk pi o hit

The keyboard on my beloved Mac stopped working last night. There is simply no rational explanation for why this happened. Some pundits and Johnny Knowbetters would blame the fact that I spilled soda on it; but if that was the cause, why did it keep working the other 73 times I spilled soda on the keyboard? Others would blame the fact that the keys are jammed with Dorito residue and imbedded cat hair. This is exactly the kind of partisan, blame-America-first thinking that is tearing our country apart!

At any rate, I must buy a new keyboard tonight. The old one will be shaved to powder and donated -- free of charge! -- to Third World children for use as a jock itch recuperative. The timing of the breakdown couldn't have come at a worse time for me; not only did the loss of half (and, eventually, all) of my functioning alphanumeric keys severely restrict the music-stealing file-sharing in which I was engaged, but it entirely nullified my ability to continue working on a freelance pitch I was writing. I suppose I could have continued, and hoped that the editor perceived the lack of at least 12 of the letters of the English alphabet in my piece as some sort of advance-guard experimentalism, but the piece is for the New York Times, and honestly, they've had enough trouble already lately.
Tags: diary

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