Gun-totin', Chronic-smokin' Hearse Initiator (ludickid) wrote,
Gun-totin', Chronic-smokin' Hearse Initiator

And now, your weekly last week's poll

What we learned:

- The majority (44%) of you receive a manageable 1-10 pieces of spam e-mail per day. An incredibly lucky or skillful 12% of you do not receive any at all, a secret I wish I knew. And only 14% of you know my pain -- the pain of having to get up every morning and sift through 100 or more pieces of junk trying to sell me dick cream, pornography, penny stocks and timeshares in order to get to the hidden business e-mails from my paying editors. Grrrrr.

- In a result that I find inexplicably fascinating, more of you (28-26) admit to having a Swiss army knife or an imitation Swiss army knife than to not having one. This means something, sociologically, but I do not know what it is.

- The question of "best animated comedy" was a very divisive one. "The Simpsons" was judged best with 24 votes, but a surprisingly large number (16) of you voted for its futuristic doppelganger, "Futurama". I was quite taken aback by how few of you (a mere 3) picked "South Park"; and I was dismayed that three of you picked "Family Guy". "The Tick" (6 votes) was more popular than I'd have predicted, while "King of the Hill" (1 vote) was less. Four of you sagely said this was too grave a decision for mere humans to make.

- The question of which fictional US presidents would have gotten your vote seemed to confuse people; I'm guessing that a number of you read it as "which fictional presidents of the United States have you HEARD of?", because how else to interpret the fact that 29% of you would have voted for Kang, who is not only a hideous reptiloid alien from beyond the moon who would have enslaved all of humanity, but is also a Republican? How else do I read the four of you who said you'd have voted for the Smiler, or the dozen of you who'd have voted for Lex Luthor? Josiah Bartlet got the most votes, but I'm guessing that's because not enough of you are familiar with Prez Rickard. A full quarter of you judged the question too geeky to answer, but I say it was not geeky enough, because no one voted for Johnny Gentle.

- Although xanthussaves got peevish with me over the junk food question, convinced I had asked it before (hey, YOU try writing a new poll every goddamn week), there were some pretty good answers all around. The bowel-destroying meat cake that is the White Castle slider was the most popular response; goldfish crackers and pickle brine were a close second. Also popular: M&Ms, various McDonald's fare, and Jack in the Box tacos, which inspired both spinooti and happinesstogo to 'ah, 100 tacos for $100' reveries. I was going to give the grand prize to defconqueso for the truly upsetting "pork rinds dipped in ice cream", but I decided instead to go with doraphilia's answer, because the image of delicate, delightful, sophisticated urbanite Dora snapping into an extra-long Slim Jim is too good to resist.
Tags: trivium

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