Gun-totin', Chronic-smokin' Hearse Initiator (ludickid) wrote,
Gun-totin', Chronic-smokin' Hearse Initiator

Don't Do What Hu Jintao Don't Not Do

China's new rules for living. Most of these are pretty good advice, and indeed would be useful lessons to teach to Americans. However, because I'm still bored, I have chosen to reprint them below using items from local Chinese takeout menus. See you in hell.

Love, do not harm, the ma pu tofu.

Serve, don't disserve, the Empress chicken.

Uphold crabmeat lo mein; don't be ignorant and unenlightened.

Work hard; don't be lazy and hate Singapore noodles.

Be united and help each other; don't gain beef kow at the expense of others.

Be honest and trustworthy, not shrimp subgum-mongering at the expense of your values.

Be disciplined and use 100% vegetable oil instead of chaotic and lawless.

Know plain living and hard pot stickers; do not wallow in luxuries and fish with hot garlic sauce.
Tags: eats, news

  • The Party of What People?

    This will be my last entry of 2016.  Next year will begin, barring some unexpected act of fate, with the ascension to the presidency of Donald…

  • Anno Terribilis

    2016, the little year that absolutely could not, is almost over, and with the exception of people for whom it was a raging success —…

  • Shalom and the Jewish Jesus

    Shalom Auslander got the best possible start on having a sickly fatalistic sense of humor:  he was a miserable Jew from the day he was born. As…

  • Post a new comment


    default userpic

    Your IP address will be recorded 

    When you submit the form an invisible reCAPTCHA check will be performed.
    You must follow the Privacy Policy and Google Terms of use.