Gun-totin', Chronic-smokin' Hearse Initiator (ludickid) wrote,
Gun-totin', Chronic-smokin' Hearse Initiator
ludickid

Don't Do What Hu Jintao Don't Not Do

China's new rules for living. Most of these are pretty good advice, and indeed would be useful lessons to teach to Americans. However, because I'm still bored, I have chosen to reprint them below using items from local Chinese takeout menus. See you in hell.

Love, do not harm, the ma pu tofu.

Serve, don't disserve, the Empress chicken.

Uphold crabmeat lo mein; don't be ignorant and unenlightened.

Work hard; don't be lazy and hate Singapore noodles.

Be united and help each other; don't gain beef kow at the expense of others.

Be honest and trustworthy, not shrimp subgum-mongering at the expense of your values.

Be disciplined and use 100% vegetable oil instead of chaotic and lawless.

Know plain living and hard pot stickers; do not wallow in luxuries and fish with hot garlic sauce.
Tags: eats, news
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