Gun-totin', Chronic-smokin' Hearse Initiator (ludickid) wrote,
Gun-totin', Chronic-smokin' Hearse Initiator

And now, a new feature at the Skullbucket: THREE WEEKS DEAD!

In which we examine the last 21 days worth of celebrity fatalities. Enjoy!

Name: Johnny Jackson
Date of demise: March 1
Famous for: drummer for the Jackson 5
Did you know?: probably the luckiest member of the Jackson family, all things considered
Cause of death: stabbed to death

Name: Ivor Cutler
Date of demise: March 5
Famous for: singing totally batshit songs that appealed to quirky Anglophiles
Did you know?: most famous person ever to be named Ivor
Cause of death: chronic tweeness

Name: Kirby Puckett
Date of demise: March 6
Famous for: being fattest Minnesota Twin in the Hall of Fame
Did you know?: slugging percentage higher with women than with baseballs
Cause of death: sweet stroke

Name: Gordon Parks
Date of demise: March 7
Famous for: introducing the world to John Shaft
Did you know?: was a bad motherf...
Cause of death: shut yo mouf!

Name: John Profumo
Date of demise: March 9
Famous for: embroiling England in the most notorious political scandal of the 20th century
Did you know?: got to bang Christine Keeler, so it was totally worth it
Cause of death: remembered certain events of 1962, suffered massive stroke

Name: Slobodan Milošević
Date of demise: March 11
Famous for: quirky governing techniques
Did you know?: pure murderous genocidal hatred reflected in bad haircut
Cause of death: devil come to claim his own

Name: Maureen Stapleton
Date of demise: March 11
Famous for: being constantly mistaken for her sister Jean
Did you know?: Jean Stapleton was not actually her sister
Cause of death: pulmonary heebie-jeebies

Name: Peter Tomarken
Date of demise: March 11
Famous for: host of crappy game show with catchy theme song
Did you know?: only moment of excitement in history of show came with unemployed ice cream truck driver figured out trick, won ridiculous amount of money
Cause of death: pressed his luck once too often

Name: Tara Rose McAvoy
Date of demise: March 12
Famous for: being reigning Miss Deaf Texas
Did you know?: in death, will provide tasteless joke fodder for the nation's second-largest state
Cause of death: hit by train while crossing tracks

Name: Lumumba Carson
Date of demise: March 17
Famous for: DJing for X-Clan under the name "Professor X"; founding team of young mutant superheroes
Did you know?: was the illegitimate son of Patrice Lumumba and Rachel Carson
Cause of death: some colored disease

Name: Oleg Cassini
Date of demise: March 17
Famous for: designing my fancy suit (and the fancy suits of other, lesser individuals)
Did you know?: despite witty demeanor and job as fashion designer, was not homosexual, and married 1940s bombshell Gene Tierney
Cause of death: really fucking old

Name: Mohammed Ali
Date of demise: March 19
Famous for: being confused with famous American boxer
Did you know?:starred in many great Pakistani films, including the celebrated Clerk, of which you have never heard
Cause of death: cardiac arrest after floating like a butterfly and being stung by a bee
Tags: laffs

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