Gun-totin', Chronic-smokin' Hearse Initiator (ludickid) wrote,
Gun-totin', Chronic-smokin' Hearse Initiator
ludickid

Please accept my uh-pah-luh-huh-gee-hee

It seems like all I do anymore is work and do other things, and here this journal sits, paid for with other peoples' money, gathering dust and unused Justice League icons while I fritter away my precious time pursuing a rewarding career and a fulfilling relationship with my girlfriend and her kid. I wouldn't blame you if you defriended me, although I would hunt you down and beat you with a tire iron. Still and all I find time at the end of the day for a crappy, pointless, incomprehensible, minutiae-crammed poll. Enjoy.

Poll #718911 A Friday Poll, which is all this thing is for nows anywoo

You ever eat at a KFC or a Long John Silver or something, and the bottom of your order is just like three inches of busted-up batter? What is your feeling on that phenomenon?

They're just giving the people what they want.
12(26.7%)
Mmmm, delicious deep-fried, er, something.
15(33.3%)
It's part of the vast corporate conspiracy to make me fat.
5(11.1%)
I am unfamiliar with/have no opinion on this phenomenon.
9(20.0%)
Your LiveJournal used to be so cool, Leonard. Now it's like a bad observational comic comes to my house for five minutes a week.
4(8.9%)

So, who's gonna see the exciting new movie, "Hard Candy"?

I like a good pedophile-gets-his-nuts-whacked-off-by-a-sociopathic-preteen romp as much as the next guy or gal.
2(4.4%)
Ew, that movie looks really yuck-mo, count me out. When does the next Harry Potter movie open?
5(11.1%)
I must admit to a certain curiosity about a movie that condemns pederasty while using flagrantly pederastic imagery in its marketing campaign.
9(20.0%)
I'm using the "Ellen Page puts in a phenomenal performance" excuse to justify seeing this pretentious upscale version of "I Spit On Your Grave".
2(4.4%)
The guy totally gets his jewels snipped, HAW HAW
0(0.0%)
OR DOES HE?
5(11.1%)
Thanks for spoiling it for me, jerkass!
7(15.6%)
I spend enough time dicking around with preteens on the internet as it is, whadda I gotta see a movie about it for?
5(11.1%)
Hey, isn't that the fruity guy from "Phantom" playing the internet perv?
2(4.4%)
This, in defiance of all reasonable expectation, is the lamest poll ever.
8(17.8%)

What magazine should I be the most embarrassed about pitching to?

Metrosexual
4(8.9%)
Twin Cities Parakeet Fancier
2(4.4%)
Neo-Conservative Barely Legal
3(6.7%)
Sissy Mary's Sprout Recipes Monthly
3(6.7%)
Overpaid Dick-Haver
6(13.3%)
Ape Rape
1(2.2%)
Monkey Business: A Magazine for People Who Don't Like the Theory of Evolution
1(2.2%)
American Frowning
0(0.0%)
Amateur Sand Enthusiast
2(4.4%)
Hitler Hipster
2(4.4%)
Black Male for Men*
1(2.2%)
Thursday Mid-Afternoon Post
0(0.0%)
Regurgitator's Digest
0(0.0%)
Vogue (North Korean edition)
0(0.0%)
some other invented comical publication I will delineate in Comments in order to illustrate my mistaken belief that I should be the one writing jokes on your website instead of you
2(4.4%)

Mexico is preparing to decriminalize marijuana and cocaine. What should be next?

Horse tranquilizers
4(9.3%)
Heavy machineguns
2(4.7%)
Dynamite fishing
6(14.0%)
Doing it with Salma Hayek after she "accidentally" takes seven doses of Rohypnol
10(23.3%)
Road trip!
21(48.8%)

How could this journal ever be more boring than it is now?



*: Black Male for Men, astonishingly, is an actual magazine.
Tags: polls
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