1. Black olive. Size of: ball bearing.
2. Green olive. Size of: human eyeball (female).
3. Pearl onion. Size of: pachinko game ball.
4. Green bean. Size of: bullwhip wielded by old-time (12") G.I. Joe doll.
5. Celery stick. Size of: large celery stick.
6. Sport pepper. Size of: Napoleon's penis.
7. Shrimp. Size of: "jumbo" shrimp. But wait, how can a shrimp be JUMBO? haw haw, in Russia shrimp jumboes you!
8. Block of cheddar cheese. Size of: toddler's fist.
9. Lime wedge. Size of: lemon wedge.
10. Dill pickle. Size of: Smurf-scale Goodyear blimp.
11. Pickled asparagus spear. Size of: Hottentot spear.
12. Beef stick. Size of: load-bearing Lincoln Log.
Astonishing discovery made at Jeff's Bobby & Steve's* Auto World gas station/convenience store/restaurant but which cannot be taken advantage of due to already-extant fatness on part of self
Poore Brothers chips now available in Minnesota! Including repulsively alluring Steak & Onion flavor!
Confusion-inducing t-shirt spotted on hefty middle-aged white woman at local grocery, 05/23/06
"I (heart) AMERICA...Feelin' the Love, 1776"
Yeaaaaah! Feelin' the love, Foundin' Fathers! You my dog, Jefferson! Word upski, my man Button Gwinnette! Bo bo bo, there my man Big Benny Frank in the back! Where my Virginia Colony heads at? Yeah, Lexx Hamilton, we tight! We tight!
*: That's what it's called. Jeff's Bobby & Steve's.