1. Cleaning my car's tires makes my nuts swell with pride. (NOTE: NOT AN EXAGGERATION OF LILEKS' ACTUAL POINT!)
2. Once again, I am appalled at the incompetence of service employees who make less money than I do.
3. I am going to spend four paragraphs complaining about the DVD rental kiosk at McDonalds:
(a) The picture on it features a guy who is not smiling, which annoys me for some reason.
(b) Of course, I am also annoyed with ads that feature people smiling too much.
(c) Also, why aren't there any hardworking happy people in ads anymore?
(d) It has never occurred to me to just not go to McDonalds.
4. I am irritated by the novel I am reading about the Russian mafia, because it does not portray the Russians as miserable enough, when we all know that, as the country that invented communism, its people are depressed and sad and feel bad all the time, and no one could possibly be inspired by it.
5. I like Stolichnaya's blueberry-flavored vodka, even though it was made by miserable depressed uninspired Russians.
But then, the new article by Mike S. Adams over at Town Hall was brought to my attention, and it is the stupidest thing ever written by a human being since the invention of thought. His argument, without rephrasing or hyperbole:
1. I am boycotting Circuit City, because they stock more Spanish-language pop music than country music in the store near me.
That's it! That's the whole article. From someone, I might add, who often sings the praises of the free market, but is, like many of these socially conservative numbnuts, appalled to see it in action. The whole thing is worth reading for his high-larious jokes, his brain-peeling attempt to recruit country legends to his appalling POV, and his extremely unsubtle racism, but should you wish to avoid suicide, just read that recap again.
Also, my boys on the Saudi national team got whipped like a Singaporean gum-chewer by the Ukraine team, which means it's all over (but the shooting, get it, ha ha BECAUSE ARABS ARE TERRORISTS!) for them. Upside: I am about 90% certain I got a high-paying freelance gig today, and whew do I need it.