Gun-totin', Chronic-smokin' Hearse Initiator (ludickid) wrote,
Gun-totin', Chronic-smokin' Hearse Initiator
ludickid

NOT FUNNY ENOUGH FOR A CERTAIN HUMOR PUBLICATION THEATRE presents:

The Official State Vices

Alabama: yelling “ROLL TIDE”!
Alaska: bear-baiting
Arizona: making convicts wear pink underwear
Arkansas: pig-fucking
California: weed
Colorado: fundamentalist Christianity
Connecticut: overuse of SportsCenter catchphrases
Delaware: paint-huffing
Florida: cocaine
Georgia: making racist puns around the name of the public transit system
Hawaii: umbrella drinks
Idaho: forming militias
Illinois: bribery
Indiana: teenage pregnancy
Iowa: downloading porn over WebTV
Kansas: denying evolution
Kentucky: taking potshots at revenuers
Louisiana: telling people that the levees will hold
Maine: writing 1000-page horror novels
Maryland: murder
Massachusetts: giving food products unusual names
Michigan: setting fire to your town once a year for no reason
Minnesota: folksiness
Mississippi: lynching
Missouri: acting like you’re not a southern state even though you totally are
Montana: forming militias, only real ones, not like those fake-ass ones in Idaho
Nebraska: doing donuts
Nevada: hookers
New Hampshire: giving the press bogus answers during caucus season
New Jersey: whacking stool pigeons
New Mexico: exploiting the native population
New York: heroin
North Carolina: cigarettes
North Dakota: Polar Bear clubs
Ohio: voter fraud
Oklahoma: believing in angels
Oregon: homosexuality
Pennsylvania: resentment
Rhode Island: ether frolics
South Carolina: racism
South Dakota: eating paste
Tennessee: bootlegging
Texas: executing people
Utah: polygamy
Vermont: Chunky Monkey
Virginia: promiscuity
Washington: coffee
West Virginia: incest
Wisconsin: strip clubs
Wyoming: masturbation
Tags: laffs, lists
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  • The Party of What People?

    This will be my last entry of 2016.  Next year will begin, barring some unexpected act of fate, with the ascension to the presidency of Donald…

  • Anno Terribilis

    2016, the little year that absolutely could not, is almost over, and with the exception of people for whom it was a raging success —…

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