Gun-totin', Chronic-smokin' Hearse Initiator (ludickid) wrote,
Gun-totin', Chronic-smokin' Hearse Initiator
ludickid

No Polling on the Dance Floor

Maybe I should just switch these to mondays, since I'm always busy on Fridays for some reason...

Poll #766002 Montpollier

What spam e-mail is MOST likely to get your attention?

one which delineates the location and attitude of horny sluts in my area
3(5.9%)
one that promises to rid me of useless, ugly flab
1(2.0%)
one that sets forth a medicinal solution to my erectile functionality issues
0(0.0%)
one that indicates the possibility of investing in previously unknown small-cap stocks
0(0.0%)
one that instructs me on how to receive prescription drugs sans prescription
2(3.9%)
one that entices me into Africa-based business investments
5(9.8%)
one that solicits me to marry an Eastern European not of my acquaintance
1(2.0%)
one that appears to be from my bank, utility or internet goods purveyor
9(17.6%)
one that tries to sell me software that I don't know what it does
2(3.9%)
one that beckons me to vote for one political party or the other
4(7.8%)
one that requests that I settle once and for all the question of which of two well-known products is the better
2(3.9%)
one that urges I purchase $1000 worth of goods from a vendor I used once, five years ago
5(9.8%)
one featuring extreme closeups of human genitalia
3(5.9%)
you have forgotten my favorite one, which I will detail in comments
9(17.6%)
I don't get spam, because (insert smug explanation here)
5(9.8%)

Which sporting event most snaps your bean?

Wimbledon finals
7(13.7%)
World Cup finals
12(23.5%)
Home Run Derby/MLB All-Star Game
11(21.6%)
NASCAR Chicagoland Speedway NexTel Cup
1(2.0%)
I don't like sports because I am an "intellectual"
20(39.2%)

You act all snooty, you snooty-acting snoots, but you know you will see at least one big stupid summer movie. Admit your shame.

"Little Man"
0(0.0%)
"You, Me and Dupree"
0(0.0%)
"Pirates of the Caribbean 2: Dead Man's Chest"*
6(12.2%)
"The Devil Wears Prada"
3(6.1%)
"Click"
0(0.0%)
"Nacho Libre"
0(0.0%)
"The Fast and the Furious 3: Tokyo Drift"**
0(0.0%)
"Lady in the Water"
1(2.0%)
"Clerks II"***
3(6.1%)
"Miami Vice"
0(0.0%)
"Talladega Nights: The Ballad of Ricky Bobby"
0(0.0%)
"The Wicker Man"
1(2.0%)
"World Trade Center"
0(0.0%)
"Jackass: Number Two"
1(2.0%)
"Barnyard"
0(0.0%)

Porn- ?

-ography
3(5.8%)
-ectomy
1(1.9%)
-ocracy
8(15.4%)
-agogy
0(0.0%)
-athlon
3(5.8%)
-icide
2(3.8%)
-ergy
0(0.0%)
-oholic
2(3.8%)
-illion
2(3.8%)
-ekinesis
14(26.9%)
-omancy
5(9.6%)
-ometer
1(1.9%)
-ologist
5(9.6%)
-ophagia
2(3.8%)
-ivorous
4(7.7%)

In what patriotic activity did you engage over Independence Day?



*: Seriously: explain to me this fascination with pirates. I just don't get it. I don't get why they're so funny. The whole success of that movie, to me, appeared to be Johnny Depp's mincing portrayal of the lead, which, I guess, gave it some sort of fag-hag crossover appeal, but beyond that, what's so funny? I don't get it. See also: ninjas.

**: Wait, hold on, when did The Fast and the Furious become a goddamn franchise?

***: Come on. What is WRONG with you people? Don't encourage that man.
Tags: polls
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  • The Party of What People?

    This will be my last entry of 2016.  Next year will begin, barring some unexpected act of fate, with the ascension to the presidency of Donald…

  • Anno Terribilis

    2016, the little year that absolutely could not, is almost over, and with the exception of people for whom it was a raging success —…

  • Shalom and the Jewish Jesus

    Shalom Auslander got the best possible start on having a sickly fatalistic sense of humor:  he was a miserable Jew from the day he was born. As…