Gun-totin', Chronic-smokin' Hearse Initiator (ludickid) wrote,
Gun-totin', Chronic-smokin' Hearse Initiator
ludickid

And, of course, there's this

I'm on hold with the Fruits and Vegetables Project Division Deputy Director of the FDA's Border Imports Special Unit! No, really!

Poll #777045 If I had a poll, I'd poll you in the morning, I'd poll you in the evening...

What is your preference in detective/crime fiction?

I like noir stories where some gritty-sounding douchebag gets dumped on every six pages
17(30.9%)
I like hardboiled fiction were dames get slapped around for mouthing off
2(3.6%)
I like British murder mysteries where an aristocratic fruit minces around being clever
7(12.7%)
I like American contemporary crime fiction that gets sold in airports
1(1.8%)
I like serial novels that are built around a letter or a color, like a crime version of "Sesame Street"
1(1.8%)
I like true crime stories, because I just can't get enough of reading about actual human suffering
6(10.9%)
I like stories where a KITTY CAT solves crimes!
6(10.9%)
I like police procedurals, because unlike most people, I think mind-numbing bureaucracy is endlessly fascinating
3(5.5%)
I like some other horseshit kind of detective fiction
2(3.6%)
I don't like that crap at all no matter how you dress it up
10(18.2%)

What's your favorite kind of melon?

Watermelon
14(25.9%)
Muskmelon
0(0.0%)
Honeydew melon
5(9.3%)
Canteloupe
6(11.1%)
Mango Melon
3(5.6%)
Carnegie-Mellon
2(3.7%)
Chris Meloni
10(18.5%)
Melanie Griffith
1(1.9%)
"freak you, melon farmer"
6(11.1%)
Sideshow Mel 'n' Mr. Teeny
7(13.0%)

Which unproduced "Peanuts" animated specials should be given an immediate green light?

"A Transgendered Person Named Charlotte Brown"
1(1.8%)
"A Charlie Brown Armistice Day"
0(0.0%)
"It's the Registered Sex Offender, Charlie Brown"
0(0.0%)
"You're Hypoglycemic, Charlie Brown"
2(3.6%)
"It Could Have Been Worse, Charlie Brown"
0(0.0%)
"You're a Human Doormat, Charlie Brown"
0(0.0%)
"For All That is Holy, Charlie Brown, WHY?!?"
1(1.8%)
"It's the Albeigensian Crusade, Charlie Brown"
2(3.6%)
"Say, You Aren't Jewish, Are You, Charlie Brown?"
1(1.8%)
"The Making of 'It's the Albigensian Crusade, Charlie Brown'"
2(3.6%)
"It's Sweeps Week, Charlie Brown"
0(0.0%)
"Don't Fuck with Me, Charlie Brown"
6(10.9%)
"My Cat Solves Mysteries, Charlie Brown"
2(3.6%)
"Charlie 'Encyclopedia' Brown and the Case of the Copyright Infringement Lawsuit"
5(9.1%)
"You Suck, Charlie Brown"
1(1.8%)

What should I do when I move to California?

Get all "Cali'd out"
3(5.6%)
Vote for Arnold Schwarzenegger, or, failing that, Warren Beatty
1(1.9%)
Develop a cocaine habit
3(5.6%)
Cut-rate Botox
1(1.9%)
Walk around with colorful outfits and an eccentric pet trying to get "noticed"
7(13.0%)
Get a job, loser
2(3.7%)
Immediately forget that any other part of the US exists, except maybe New York
9(16.7%)
prepare to spend the rest of my life sitting in traffic
14(25.9%)
Solve mysteries with my cat
11(20.4%)
Go back to it (yo, I don't think so)
3(5.6%)

Tell me the title of your autobiography.

Tags: polls
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    Slavery, it has been properly observed, is America’s original sin.  It is our first and foremost crime, the most adjacent cause of our civil…

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