Gun-totin', Chronic-smokin' Hearse Initiator (ludickid) wrote,
Gun-totin', Chronic-smokin' Hearse Initiator
ludickid

And, of course, there's this

I'm on hold with the Fruits and Vegetables Project Division Deputy Director of the FDA's Border Imports Special Unit! No, really!

Poll #777045 If I had a poll, I'd poll you in the morning, I'd poll you in the evening...

What is your preference in detective/crime fiction?

I like noir stories where some gritty-sounding douchebag gets dumped on every six pages
17(30.9%)
I like hardboiled fiction were dames get slapped around for mouthing off
2(3.6%)
I like British murder mysteries where an aristocratic fruit minces around being clever
7(12.7%)
I like American contemporary crime fiction that gets sold in airports
1(1.8%)
I like serial novels that are built around a letter or a color, like a crime version of "Sesame Street"
1(1.8%)
I like true crime stories, because I just can't get enough of reading about actual human suffering
6(10.9%)
I like stories where a KITTY CAT solves crimes!
6(10.9%)
I like police procedurals, because unlike most people, I think mind-numbing bureaucracy is endlessly fascinating
3(5.5%)
I like some other horseshit kind of detective fiction
2(3.6%)
I don't like that crap at all no matter how you dress it up
10(18.2%)

What's your favorite kind of melon?

Watermelon
14(25.9%)
Muskmelon
0(0.0%)
Honeydew melon
5(9.3%)
Canteloupe
6(11.1%)
Mango Melon
3(5.6%)
Carnegie-Mellon
2(3.7%)
Chris Meloni
10(18.5%)
Melanie Griffith
1(1.9%)
"freak you, melon farmer"
6(11.1%)
Sideshow Mel 'n' Mr. Teeny
7(13.0%)

Which unproduced "Peanuts" animated specials should be given an immediate green light?

"A Transgendered Person Named Charlotte Brown"
1(1.8%)
"A Charlie Brown Armistice Day"
0(0.0%)
"It's the Registered Sex Offender, Charlie Brown"
0(0.0%)
"You're Hypoglycemic, Charlie Brown"
2(3.6%)
"It Could Have Been Worse, Charlie Brown"
0(0.0%)
"You're a Human Doormat, Charlie Brown"
0(0.0%)
"For All That is Holy, Charlie Brown, WHY?!?"
1(1.8%)
"It's the Albeigensian Crusade, Charlie Brown"
2(3.6%)
"Say, You Aren't Jewish, Are You, Charlie Brown?"
1(1.8%)
"The Making of 'It's the Albigensian Crusade, Charlie Brown'"
2(3.6%)
"It's Sweeps Week, Charlie Brown"
0(0.0%)
"Don't Fuck with Me, Charlie Brown"
6(10.9%)
"My Cat Solves Mysteries, Charlie Brown"
2(3.6%)
"Charlie 'Encyclopedia' Brown and the Case of the Copyright Infringement Lawsuit"
5(9.1%)
"You Suck, Charlie Brown"
1(1.8%)

What should I do when I move to California?

Get all "Cali'd out"
3(5.6%)
Vote for Arnold Schwarzenegger, or, failing that, Warren Beatty
1(1.9%)
Develop a cocaine habit
3(5.6%)
Cut-rate Botox
1(1.9%)
Walk around with colorful outfits and an eccentric pet trying to get "noticed"
7(13.0%)
Get a job, loser
2(3.7%)
Immediately forget that any other part of the US exists, except maybe New York
9(16.7%)
prepare to spend the rest of my life sitting in traffic
14(25.9%)
Solve mysteries with my cat
11(20.4%)
Go back to it (yo, I don't think so)
3(5.6%)

Tell me the title of your autobiography.

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  • The Party of What People?

    This will be my last entry of 2016.  Next year will begin, barring some unexpected act of fate, with the ascension to the presidency of Donald…

  • Anno Terribilis

    2016, the little year that absolutely could not, is almost over, and with the exception of people for whom it was a raging success —…

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