Still, it's not like I DIDN'T eat anything: I had a wild rice cheeseburger (great) and some alligator on a stick. How many of you can say you've had an alligator on a stick? Less than 16.428% with a margin of error of less than 2%, I'd wager. Annie rode various amusement machinery and petted a piglet, and Shauna and I wished that the "governor on a stick" placards handed out by the Pawlenty campaign referred to something literal. We also saw a plethora of animals and their bored teenage minders, and attended an English horse show. The first part of it was a riding competition, won by an adolescent girl who was a ringer for Wallace on The Wire. It's nice to see today's urban youth getting off the crack and into championship show jumping. The second part of it was a 'royal joust', the royal pedigree of which was about as authentic as that of King Vitaman. It intentionally patterned itself after a pro wrestling match, right down to heel turns and pony-tailed jackoffs pulling a comeback jawn. We left before the Arabian horsemen could come in and decapitate everybody.
I saw right-wing blowhard Hugh Hewitt there, and I got a slight frisson thinking that Sunday would finally be the day I got to punch James Lileks in the face, but alas, it was not to be.
Yesterday, I worked a temp job (freelancing work is still go, but I'm going back to the real world before and after the move to Cali, because shit is $, yo, and people be all up in my face with the not-check-sending), for the eerily totalitarian Target Corporation. The work was extremely pedestrian -- copy-editing benefit package statements and converting PDF files into Word), but the interesting thing was that the person I was working for was Beyonce Knowles. Or near as dammit, anyway. I think that formating pay-out timelines for Miss Minnesota is probably the highlight of my professional career, which is so exciting I think I'm going to kill myself.
But before I do, allow me to tell you the sign we saw on the stall of a huge, pregnant cow in the Livestock Pavilion/Miracle of Birth Center at the fair. It posed wisdom for the ages which we would all do well to remember: "THIS COW HAS DIARRHEA. IF HER BACK END IS FACING YOU -- BACK UP!"