Gun-totin', Chronic-smokin' Hearse Initiator (ludickid) wrote,
Gun-totin', Chronic-smokin' Hearse Initiator

And here I am, back to being a hundredaire

Say, Americans! Do you live in West Virginia? How about Alaska? Possibly you reside in Vermont, Maine or Delaware, or you call Mississippi, Iowa, New Mexico, Kentucky or North Dakota home. If so, hang your head in shame! Because you are one of the very few states without a billionaire.

If you can somehow forestall an act of self-murder out of pure humiliation, please consider moving at once to one of the 40 other U.S. states that are all billionaired up. Why? Because billionaires are the finest kind of people. It is for them that we write the laws, build the system, wave the flag. Without them, we could accomplish nothing; why, we would not even have a country! And if you spend your time criticizing them, you are un-American. It is self-evident that they are the cream of the human crop; were it not so, they would not be billionaires. They smell like flowers, babies and fresh fruit; their voices are like the tinkling of crystal and the songs of angels; to look upon them is to see the face of God, and they do not shit or piss or use bad words. Their every thought should be recorded and their every opinion should be followed as truth. It is to them alone that our public servants should be beholden, and from where their feet fall upon the earth light springs to banish night. It is our only slightest hope and dream that someday they turn their faces to us and smile.

Remember this: if you have a billion dollars, that means even if you make no income ever again, you can spend $25,000 every single day, and it will take you over a hundred years to run out of money. And then remember this: a corporation's only responsibility should be to increase its shareholders' profits; there must be no restriction of commerce or invasion of capital; and taxation is slavery.
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