Gun-totin', Chronic-smokin' Hearse Initiator (ludickid) wrote,
Gun-totin', Chronic-smokin' Hearse Initiator

Eye of the typist

What? We gots to work overtime on the GM presentation? I ain't got time for that jibba jabba! I gots to have tiki drinks in the suburbs! I can't spend no time preparing cross-referenced die punch maintenance records tonight!

Hey woman! Hey woman! Why don't you get me an assistant to do this nonsense? I'm a real man! You need to quit giving projects to that punk-ass HR generalist and bring them to a real man!

What? What you say, paper-pushin' champion? You didn't get my memo on new leave-time codes for the toolmakers? I'll beat you like a dog, a dog!

A six P.M. deadline? It's 5:30 now! A challenge? I reject your challenge, 'cause it is no challenge, but I'd happy to proof your blueprints one more time!

You tryin' to mess with me, chump? You askin' me to work through lunch? I'm gonna bust you up! I'm gonna torture you! I'm gonna crucify you real bad! I'm gonna make you dead meat! My prediction for your request to borrow my three-hole punch is PAIN!

Did what? Jokin'? Hell, yes, I know what day it is! April first. What? No, I don't hate you. I pity the April fool.

I got no trainer.  All I got is me.
Tags: laffs, teevee, work

  • The Most Beautiful Fraud: 12 Years A Slave

    Slavery, it has been properly observed, is America’s original sin.  It is our first and foremost crime, the most adjacent cause of our civil…

  • The Voracity of Hope

    So, here we are. After years of ambiguity over the direction Barack Obama was taking as president, after months of nausea at the repulsive tactics…

  • Worth It!

    Yes, it’s time once again for that all-time family fun game, “What’s This Guy Worth?, or, Exactly How Rich and Out-of-Touch Are the Rich,…

  • Post a new comment


    default userpic

    Your IP address will be recorded 

    When you submit the form an invisible reCAPTCHA check will be performed.
    You must follow the Privacy Policy and Google Terms of use.