Gun-totin', Chronic-smokin' Hearse Initiator (ludickid) wrote,
Gun-totin', Chronic-smokin' Hearse Initiator
ludickid

SPRTS R FNY

With baseball season winding up, the NBA season about to begin, and the NFL in full swing, it's time once again for our annual Funny Sports Names Roundup, where I, a man named Leonard, mock the names of people who make more money in a week than I will in ten years.

Major League Baseball: The 2006 Funny Name All-Stars
(AL)
BALTIMORE ORIOLES: Sendy Rleal
BOSTON RED SOX: Kason Gabbard, Devern Hansack, Kevin Youkilis, Coco Crisp
CHICAGO WHITE SOX: Ross Gload
CLEVELAND INDIANS: Grady Sizemore, Sin Soo Choo
DETROIT TIGERS: Fernando Rodney, Roman Colon
KANSAS CITY ROYALS: Ambiorix Burgos, Jimmy Gobble, Runelvys Hernandez, Mark Teahean
LOS ANGELES ANGELS: Chris Bootcheck, Chone Figgins
MINNESOTA TWINS: Boof Bonser
NEW YORK YANKEES: Randy Johnson, Chien-Ming Wang, Melky Cabrera
OAKLAND ATHLETICS: Kiko Calero, Huston Street, Hiram Bocachica, Nick Swisher, Milton Bradley
SEATTLE MARINERS: Yorman Bazardo, Yunieski Betancourt, T.J. Bohn
TAMPA BAY DEVIL RAYS: Ruddy Lugo, Ty Wiggington
TEXAS RANGERS*: Josh Rupe
TORONTO BLUE JAYS: John-Ford Griffin

Major League Baseball: The 2006 Funny Name All-Stars
(NL)
ARIZONA DIAMONDBACKS: Robby Hammock, Dustin Nippert, Casey Daigle, Randy Choate
ATLANTA BRAVES: Joey Devine
CHICAGO CUBS: Felix Pie, Angel Pagan, Buck Coats, Brian Dopirak
CINCINNATI REDS*: Bill Bray
COLORADO ROCKIES: Yorvit Torrealba, Ryan Spilborghs, Brad Hawpe, Choo Freeman
FLORIDA MARLINS: Taylor Tankersley, Reggie Abercrombie, Dan Uggla
HOUSTON ASTROS: Wandy Rodriguez
LOS ANGELES DODGERS: Yhency Brazoban
MILWAUKEE BREWERS: Prince Fielder, Laynce Nix
NEW YORK METS: Endy Chavez, Steve Schmoll
PHILADELPHIA PHILLIES: Eude Brito, Chase Utley
PITTSBURGH PIRATES: Yurundel DeCaster, John van ben Schoeten, Josh Sharpless, Josh Shortsleff
SAN DIEGO PADRES: Cla Meredith
SAN FRANCISCO GIANTS: Vinnie Chulk
ST. LOUIS CARDINALS: Yadier Molina, Albert Pujols, So Taguchi
WASHINGTON NATIONALS: Robert Fick, Larry Broadway, Nook Logan

National Football League: The 2006 Funny Name All-Stars
(AFC)
BALTIMORE RAVENS: Quinn Sypniewski, Ronnie Prude, Todd Heap, Devard Darling
BUFFALO BILLS: Peerless Price, Takeo Spikes, Coy Wire
CINCINNATI BENGALS: Frostee Rucker, Herana-Daze Jones, T.J. Houshmandzadeh
CLEVELAND BROWNS: LeCharles Bentley, Mason Unck, D'Qwell Jackson
DENVER BRONCOS: Curome Cox, Elvis DuMervel, Chad Mustard, Demetrin Veal
HOUSTON TEXANS: DeMarcus Faggins, Vonta Leach, Antwan Peek, Sage Rosenfels
INDIANAPOLIS COLTS: De De Dorsey, Martin Gramatica
JACKSONVILLE JAGUARS: Stockar McDougle, LaBrandon Toefield, Derrick Wimbush
KANSAS CITY CHIEFS*: Boomer Grigsby
MIAMI DOLPHINS: Channing Crowder, Cleo Lemon, Joe Toledo
NEW ENGLAND PATRIOTS: Tully Banta-Cain, Vince Wilfork, Tebucky Jones
NEW YORK JETS: Jerricho Cotchery, James Dearth, D'Brickashaw Ferguson, Hank Poteat, Kimo von Oelhoffen, Sione Pouha
OAKLAND RAIDERS: Alvis Whitted, Marques Tuiasosopo, Nnamde Asomugha
PITTSBURGH STEELERS: Chukky Okobi, Marvel Smith
SAN DIEGO CHARGERS: Quentin Jammer, Cory Lekkerkerker
TENNESSEE TITANS: Colby Bockwoldt, Pacman Jones, Travis LaBoy

(NFC)
ARIZONA CARDINALS: Obafemi Ayanbadejo, Deuce Latui, Neil Rackers
ATLANTA FALCONS: Alge Crumpler, Lawyer Milloy, Jerious Norwood
CAROLINA PANTHERS*: Julius Peppers
CHICAGO BEARS: Tank Johnson, Hunter Hillenmayer, Rex Grossman
DALLAS COWBOYS: Flozell Adams, Lousaka Polite, Jamaica Rector
DETROIT LIONS: Dre' Bly, Bill Swancutt III
GREEN BAY PACKERS: Bubba Franks, Abdul Hodge, Johnny Jolly, Brady Poppinga
MINNESOTA VIKINGS: Joey Goodspeed, Fred Smoot, Jim Kleinsasser, Ciatrick Fason
NEW ORLEANS SAINTS: DeJuan Groce, Jermaine Mayberry
NEW YORK GIANTS: Plaxico Burress, Jeff Feagles, Visanthe Shiancoe, Guy Whimper
PHILADELPHIA EAGLES: Jeremiah Trotter, Brodrick Bunkley
SAN FRANCISCO '49ERS: Arnaz Battle, T.J. Slaughter, Damane Duckett, Parys Haralson
SEATTLE SEAHAWKS: Itui Mili, Ryan Plackemeier, Jean-Phillipe Darche
ST. LOUIS RAMS: Fakhir Brown, Jerametrius Butler, Madison Hedgecock, Richie Incognito
TAMPA BAY BUCCANEERS: Antoine Cash, Wesly Mallard, Jeremy Trueblood
WASHINGTON REDSKINS: Rock Cartwright, Mike Rumph, James Thrash

National Basketball Association: The 2006 Funny Name All-Stars
(E)
ATLANTA HAWKS: Speedy Claxton, Kaniel Dickens, Royal Ivey, Zaza Pachulia
BOSTON CELTICS: Kevin Pittsnogle, Sebastian Telfair
CHARLOTTE BOBCATS: Primoz Brezec, Othella Harrington
CHICAGO BULLS: Martynas Andriuskevicius, Luol Deng, Victor Khryapa, Thabo Sefolosha
CLEVELAND CAVALIERS: Zydrunas Ilgauskas
DETROIT PISTONS: Chauncey Billups, Tayshaun Prince
INDIANA PACERS: Sarunas Jasikevicius
MIAMI HEAT: Udonis Haslem, Wayne Simien
MILWAUKEE BUCKS*: Andrew Bogut
NEW JERSEY NETS: Darvin Ham, Mile Ilic, Nenad Krstic, Awvee Storey
NEW YORK KNICKS: Renaldo Balkman, Mardy Collins, Channing Frye
ORLANDO MAGIC: Keith Bogans, Keyon Dooling, Hedo Turkoglu
PHILADELPHIA '76ERS: Rodney Carney
TORONTO RAPTORS: Chris Bosh, Pape Sow
WASHINGTON WIZARDS: Andray Blatche, Darius Songaila

(W)
DALLAS MAVERICKS: DeSagana Diop, Ndudi Ebi, DJ Mbenga, Pops Mensah-Bonsu
DENVER NUGGETS: Nene Hilario, DerMarr Johnson
GOLDEN STATE WARRIORS: Zarko Cabarkapa, Adonal Foyle
HOUSTON ROCKETS: Luther Head, Bonzi Wells
LOS ANGELES CLIPPERS*: Corey Maggette
LOS ANGELES LAKERS: Smush Parker, Marcus Douthit
MEMPHIS GRIZZLIES: Rudy Gay, Stromile Swift, LaRon Profit
MINNESOTA TIMBERWOLVES: Rashad McCants, Paul Shirley, Bracey Wright
NEW ORLEANS/OKLAHOMA CITY HORNETS: Scooter McFagdon
PHOENIX SUNS: Jumaine Jones, Boris Diaw
PORTLAND TRAIL BLAZERS: Dan Dickau, Zendon Hamilton, Ime Udoka
SACRAMENTO KINGS: Quincy Douby
SAN ANTONIO SPURS: Olu Famutimi, Beno Udrih
SEATTLE SUPERSONICS: Johan Petro
UTAH JAZZ: Carlos Boozer

Sorry, NHL and MLS fans, you'll have to wait until tomorrow. This takes for fucking ever.

*: Winners, Least Funny Names in League award.
Tags: sports
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  • Gone Yard

    It’s baseball season, and that, friends, is the best of all seasons. Baseball writers, who, given their love of a game that has historical…

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