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Oh, Photoshop, why can't I force-quit you?

Let us say, for the sake of argument, you are funny and bored with nothing to do today.

Let us also say, to further this argument I am apparently making, that unlike me, you have some measure of ability with computer technology and graphics editing software.

Let us finally say -- let us please most especially finally say this -- that you are the sort of person who might be appalled by a charitable ad campaign, however well-meaning, that features intensely caucasian celebrities such as Elijah Wood, Heidi Klum, Richard Gere, Gwyneth Paltrow, and Sarah Jessica Parker in full-on Bantu drag, loudly proclaiming through the power of some 'daring' assfuck at an ad agency that "I AM AFRICAN".

If all these things were the case, I would beg you, beg you to go to this site and perform acts of vandalism upon the photos of white people found thereupon, posting the results here for all to see.

Thank you.*

*: Please note: this has nothing to do with the worthiness of combating AIDS in Africa, an unimpeachable cause. It has everything to do with some well-heeled shit in a New York ad agency committing yet another act of gross cultural cooptation by having a bunch of people whose ancestors are largely responsible for the mess Africa has become dress up behind a bunch of Stella Chiweshe records and express solidarity with people whose lives are roughly five billion times worse than theirs. Thus making the whole thing, as this entry proves, all about the celebrities and the ad agency rather than about the poor people with the awful disease. Maybe a better thing would have been to show some actual Africans, perhaps, with the slogan "THEY ARE HUMAN", which makes it about solidarity with your fellow man and implies that when anyone suffers, we all suffer, instead of showing a bunch of Americans with the slogan "I AM AFRICAN", which makes it about me me me hey everybody look at me. Just a suggestion.

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petit_chou
Oct. 23rd, 2006 03:45 pm (UTC)
Well, all those celebrities are chodes...except David Bowie. Because, I mean, HE IS DAVID BOWIE and also he is porking the Somalian fronting the campaign, so, you know, he's exempt. RIGHT?
ludickid
Oct. 23rd, 2006 04:01 pm (UTC)
I don't think Somalis are allowed to pork.
ludickid
Oct. 23rd, 2006 04:17 pm (UTC)
You know what else? Every time I think of Sarah Jessica Parker, I can't help but think of how, when she was on "Fresh Air", she went really far out of her way to make it clear that while her character on The Sexy City Show was into ass-fucking, she herself would never do such a thing.

Just thought I would mention the mental space that Sarah Jessica Parker occupies in my universe.
petit_chou
Oct. 23rd, 2006 05:26 pm (UTC)
Psssh! Well of COURSE she's not into ass-fucking -- she's against AIDS! Aren't they the same thing?
ludickid
Oct. 23rd, 2006 05:29 pm (UTC)
GOOD POINT!
(Deleted comment)
ludickid
Oct. 23rd, 2006 04:02 pm (UTC)
You can't spell "Iman" without "I"!
calamityjon
Oct. 23rd, 2006 03:50 pm (UTC)
What th-, David Bowie is African? It's sexually transmittable?
ludickid
Oct. 23rd, 2006 04:03 pm (UTC)
Probably. Remember when they kept black and white peoples' blood separate at blood banks, so that white people wouldn't "catch black"?
rjwhite
Oct. 23rd, 2006 04:05 pm (UTC)
I remember a very special "M.A.S.H." about that, guest starring the fat deputy from "Sheriff Lobo."
ludickid
Oct. 23rd, 2006 04:10 pm (UTC)
You know, because I have nothing better to do these days, I happened to catch a couple of reruns of "M*A*S*H" last week, and once again was set to wondering why everyone thought it was so great.

archaica
Oct. 23rd, 2006 04:06 pm (UTC)
I like your slogan better.

Africa could do a lot worse than Alicia Keys, though.
ludickid
Oct. 23rd, 2006 04:12 pm (UTC)
Sigh.
archaica
Oct. 23rd, 2006 04:14 pm (UTC)
Ok, ok, ok
rxrfrx
Oct. 23rd, 2006 04:12 pm (UTC)
Wow, celebrities self-promote?
ludickid
Oct. 23rd, 2006 04:14 pm (UTC)


I AM AFRICAN
ortho_bob
Oct. 23rd, 2006 04:31 pm (UTC)
ludickid
Oct. 23rd, 2006 04:44 pm (UTC)
SEE THAT'S WHAT I'M TALKIN ABOUT
picodulce
Oct. 23rd, 2006 04:43 pm (UTC)
I guess the people they are keeping alive aren't very photogenic, what with the lack of make-up and photo studios in Africa. I think we should work on that problem too, pretty models and "actors" of America and Europe.

I WOULD like to know how successful this campaign is in a year's time, though. And exactly how they avoid bureaucracy and hijacking issues to get medicines to AIDS sufferers on a regular basis.
ludickid
Oct. 23rd, 2006 04:48 pm (UTC)
I WOULD like to know how successful this campaign is in a year's time

I'm guessing it will entirely eradicate AIDS on the entire continent. Either that or it will accomplish nothing at all, one of the two.
picodulce
Oct. 23rd, 2006 06:34 pm (UTC)
so it's going to be as successful as the E-Racism campaign. look (from http://clinton4.nara.gov/Initiatives/OneAmerica/Practices/pp_19980810.15582.html:

Outcomes and Significant Accomplishments

Over the last four years, ERACE has distributed over 30,000 Eracism bumper stickers and held over 300 discussion meetings on topics concerning racism. The feedback from most meeting participants reveals that many feel enlightened by the honest dialogue surrounding race, which reaffirms the group's belief that interpersonal interaction offers the greatest hope in the struggle against racism.
fidelity_astro
Oct. 23rd, 2006 06:11 pm (UTC)
I was going to make a comment in which I humorously defended that site just to be oppositional, but holy this that is just the gayest thing ever. Like, seriously, that's just the quintessential thing that one ought to call "gay."


(You know, other than things and people that are actually gay.)
(Deleted comment)
fidelity_astro
Oct. 23rd, 2006 07:17 pm (UTC)
np
substitute
Oct. 23rd, 2006 08:21 pm (UTC)
Why can't they just go back to using pics of adorable kids?
My favorite part so far is that they misspelled Gwyneth Paltrow's name.
thaitea
Oct. 24th, 2006 01:48 am (UTC)
I smell a photo op!
Daaa-aaammm that's bad. It's the new "Everyone's Irish on St. Patrick's Day."

I can hear these actors reading the awful stories of decimated villages, orphaned children, ostracized families and the like, and asking, "What can these people do for ME?"
( 24 SHOTS LICKED — LICK A SHOT )

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Leonard Pierce is a freelance writer wandering around Texas with no sleep or sense of direction. If you give him money he will write something for you. If you are nice to him he may come to your house and get drunk.

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