So, yesterday, I decide to stop and gas up the Chickwagon. And I'm inside the Shell station, standing in line to pay, only it's taking a while. Why? Because the guy ahead of me is wrangling his two kids. Both boys. One's maybe five years old, the other possibly a year older, or perhaps they're twins. They keep grabbing stuff off the shelves and asking him to buy them chips, buy them candy, buy them soday, etc. And the guy, who is a dead ringer for White Mike* from seasion 2 of The Wire**, keeps telling them to put it back, only he doesn't say "put it back, son" or even "put that down right now, mister, or you're in trouble, I mean it". He says "put it the fuck back, motherfucker, and get your ass over here". To his five-year-old sons. Also, he doesn't just say this; he says this while he's having a very animated, filled-with-obscenities conversation on his cell phone about "where the party is" with a guy named Meatface. Oh, and the phone is on walkie-talkie mode. And all this while he's trying to pay for his purchases...with a phone card.
*: If you don't know who White Mike is, picture: mid-30s white guy but looks older, slightly balding with a molester mustache and a bit of a paunch, and dressed in wanna-be hip-hop gear but too cheap or poor to afford real Roca Wear or throwback jerseys, so instead is wearing sweats and a one-size-too-big, off-brand replica basketball shirt.
**: Yes, everything I say, do or think has a reference to The Wire now.