Gun-totin', Chronic-smokin' Hearse Initiator (ludickid) wrote,
Gun-totin', Chronic-smokin' Hearse Initiator
ludickid

Pissin' cousins: a cod-Faulknerian miniature

Cousin Jay liked shitty hair-metal bands and driving fast. He drank Everclear and ate cheese dogs and listened to Night Ranger. He went on to become a technician on a nuclear submarine, which is an unsettling thought.

Cousins Earle and Burle were twins. Earle was the evil twin; he spent a couple of years in the joint on a trumped-up rape charge (he got caught fucking the mayor's daughter) and eventually passed out on a railroad track and got run over by a train. Burle owned a carpet store and used to give me free Cokes.

Cousins Joe and Bill are brothers. They're both in the Klan. They both work at gas stations. In fact, they both work at the same gas station and belong to the same chapter of the Klan. They think they're better than the rest of the men in the family because they don't work in the coal mine. It was Joe who told me, at the last family reunion I ever went to, that I shouldn't be considered part of the family, because, among other reasons, I "ain't even white".
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