Gun-totin', Chronic-smokin' Hearse Initiator (ludickid) wrote,
Gun-totin', Chronic-smokin' Hearse Initiator
ludickid

The Uniform Code of Military Drunkenness

One of the few benefits of living in San Antonio is that my family are all military types, meaning I get to shop at the Fort Sam Houston commissary. This is basically nothing more than a huge grocery store, but which caters to military personnel and their families – the practical upshot of which is that the prices are dirt cheap, and even though it doesn’t have the world’s most gourmet-friendly inventory, you ain’t catch me sayin’ no to inexpensive groceries.

Shopping there, though, is a surreal experience. I have to go with a relative (they’ve got the military ID cards that get you past the armed guards), and I get to shop alongside terrifying-looking Special Forces guys in black uniforms buying cup noodles and frozen fish filets. And best of all, the endcaps and other displays all have military themes, so you get to see stuff like the Keebler Elves duded up in Marine Corps dress uniforms and saying “KEEBLER SUPPORTS OUR TROOPS!”

Anyway, I was there a couple of weeks ago and found myself, as I often do, in the alcoholic accessories section, and I saw



It’s LIEUTENANT BLENDER’S MARGARITA IN A BAG! Stand at ease, grunts! It’s time to fall out into tequila deliciousness! Report for beach party duty at 2200 hours! Failure to sip your tasty frozen adult beverage will result in court-martial! Terminate your thirst with extreme prejudice!
Tags: drunk, fotos, laffs
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