- cute story about the Gnat, CHECK.
- incessant complaining about poor service at bottom-end fast food restaurants that he nonetheless continues to patronize even though he could eat wherever he wants, CHECK.
- impotent bitching about insouciant, disrespectful teenagers who he is smarter than, CHECK.
- putatively offhand comment about some pop-culture indulgence that makes him feel manly, ineffectually defused by lame self-deprecation, CHECK
- dire warning that the Islamonazis are gearing up to destroy us all but we can't see it because we're all cowed by political correctness, CHECK AND DOUBLE CHECK.
He's not even trying (very trying) anymore.