You know how you have picture on the sides of your moving trucks that show notable people, places and things from the origin state of the truck? I saw one today that was from Nebraska, and the picture on the side was a rhinoceros.
Dear my mental health care professional,
Tonight, unless my mood lifts, I will be telling you that I'm pretty down. Please do not take this as a sign that your badgering me to get on pills is working.
yours for the time being,
Dear my internet at home,
Why aren't you working? I have three freelance assignments due and some very important dicking around to do. Please repair yourself at once, and give me a million dollars.
Dear my job,
Thanks for the cookies! I appreciate all the support, praise and responsibility you've given me since I started, even though I know it's a trap. Also, you were just kidding when you said "please accept these in lieu of pay", right?
Dear the church near my home,
"CHRISTMAS - CHRIST = MATERIALISM" is your best marquee ever. Keep up the good work.