Gun-totin', Chronic-smokin' Hearse Initiator (ludickid) wrote,
Gun-totin', Chronic-smokin' Hearse Initiator
ludickid

I am not an uberthinker. I am an overthinker. It's different.

I just found out that we have the day off tomorrow at Yellow Rectangular Border Publishing. This means:

- Four-day weekend!
- But I’m a contractor, so I don’t get paid for holidays.
- Luckily, I picked up some freelance gigs this week!
- It was even less necessary for me to wear a suit today than usual, but I did it anyway.

And now, for your delight and amusement, Four Things I Was Going to Post About But They Turned Out to Be Way Too Long and Also Not Very Interesting. See? As bad as this journal is, it could be so much worse!

1. A thing about how I take a lot of freelance assignments I don’t really want to do, like for instance an upcoming review of the remake of The Hitcher or a fairly good chunk of the trade writing I am given, because of the money. This would have turned into the larger topic of how I love to write, and writing about things I don’t care about feels kinda crummy to me sometimes, like I’m degrading the one thing I can actually do semi-competently, but then again, what’s the alternative? Never making any money off my writing at all? REASON I ABANDONDED THE POST: it was whiny, self-centered and hypocritical.

2. A thing about how even though I would rather watch flies fuck than watch car racing, I actually have a huge admiration for racecar drivers, because they possess a type of courage that is entirely alien to me. This would have turned into the larger topic of “courage” in general, both physical and moral/mental, neither of which I tend to possess. Also a side discursion into how people have called me courageous because I have been in a number of physical fights; while I don’t find this courageous, others do, because they’re afraid of/incapable of fighting, just as I probably find certain behaviors courageous even though the people who evince them do not. Finally, a charming piece of self-deprecation wherein I reveal that for a long time, I did not believe that “racecar” is a palindrome, even though it obviously is. REASON I ABANDONED THE POST: it was boring.

3. A thing about how fucking crazy it drives me that so many people are willing to abandon the ethics, principles and founding ideals of our country in order to protect it against its enemies. Because, I mean, otherwise, it’s just nationalism, just names for sides: if you don’t care about the Constitution and the higher moral standard, why be proud to be an American? Examples would be given regarding terrorism, crime, homosexuality, religion, business, immigration, and all those other topics that make my head hurt. REASON I ABANDONED THE POST: it just made me sound like a gassy windbag, and also I have already written it about two thousand times.

4. A thing about work, and how it’s both alienating and inviting, about its role as the only social outlet a lot of people have yet it is incredibly controlled and structured and paternal, about how its prominence in the lives of the vast majority of citizens is not remotely adequately reflected in legislation, corporate culture, or even financial life. This would have turned into a discourse on the myth of universal entrepreneurialism, the American hatred of anything that resembles socialism, and the eternal bogosity of the self-made man. Side tours would be taken into the issue of how Bush has just called for a massive boost in military spending and an extended tax cut at the same time, and a fascinating mini-review of the bathrooms at my office. REASON I ABANDONED THE POST: it was too long, and I feel like I’ve been whining too much about my job given that it’s the only day job I’ve ever had that I actually like.

There you have it! Probably 29, 30 pages of my unreadable dreck, condensed into a mere two! Don’t say I never got you nothin’ for Christmas.
Tags: diary, junk, work
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