Gun-totin', Chronic-smokin' Hearse Initiator (ludickid) wrote,
Gun-totin', Chronic-smokin' Hearse Initiator

On the rez

I hate to start out the new year apologizing, because I seem to do nothing but apologize sometimes. I did a particular lot of it last year, to some people who deserve a lot more than that. I guess one way to not apologize so much would be to stop fucking up all the time, but what are the odds of my doing that? Anyway, I'm sorry to editrix26 & kp3000, never_fear and zulkey. I wanted to see all of you during my Chicago holiday, but as I've mentioned here, I was basically in town for little more than a day, and given my travel requirements, lost luggage, and inebriated stupefaction, I wasn't able to get around much on New Year's Eve. I hope you had lovely parties and that you'll someday recover from not getting to see my fat drunken ass.

Speaking of which, I spent yesterday sleep-deprived and ridiculously hung over, but this morning, I'm still feeling pretty woeful, so I'm wondering if I actually picked up something nasty during the 12-15 hours I was on airplanes in the last few days. I was just telling my wonderful friends Lara & Jeff -- who always throw amazing parties on New Year's Eve with incredible food and company -- how I dodged a bullet this year: I go to their holiday party every year, and almost every year I'm sick and unable to fully enjoy myself. This time, though, I was in the fullness of health throughout the whole party, only to get back to SA and feel like a trod-on microwave burrito. I have a huge deadline at work today, so I can't stay home, but maybe once the work's done, I can sneak out early and sleep for another 12 hours or so.

I'm not one for making resolutions, largely because I'm not one for keeping resolutions but I am one for beating myself up. I don't care to go back and look at anything I said at this time last year, because I probably neglected to say "don't completely fuck up your life", and if I did, there's another one I broke. This year I'm calling no plans, making vague internal committments to eat better, drink less and try not to treat people any worse than I already have, but beyond that, I'm just working on smoothing the edges of my rut and trying to find a comfortable place to die. If I can mildly amuse myself and others during that time, I'll go ahead and call the year a triple kitty bonus winner.

NOTEL This entry wasn't supposed to sound so maudlin and depressing. I'm actually in a pretty great mood today, despite feeling like freeze-dried hell. And the whole day of 12/31 is probably, from the things I did to the friends I saw to the people I talked to, the best day I've had since September. Happy 2007, folks, for real.
Tags: crankery, diary, drunk

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