Gun-totin', Chronic-smokin' Hearse Initiator (ludickid) wrote,
Gun-totin', Chronic-smokin' Hearse Initiator
ludickid

El Poll-O Loco

Okay, I know that the Austin Powers movies sort of beat this concept into the ground, but what amount of money do you think it's worth committing a serious crime for? I ask because I was reviewing season 2 of Lost, and Sawyer and his partner were pulling a long con for $600,000. Given the amount of time and effort they put into it, it hardly seemed worth it for three hundred grand each, but I dunno, there are days I feel like I could shoot someone for their car, so what do I know? I guess I always expect a supervillain to ask for at least a couple mil, given the cost of industrial machinery these days.

Anyway, here's your guaranteed-offensive-and-depressing MONDAY POLL.
Poll #925678 Lenny Valentino Decide

What are you doing for Valentine's Day?

I am doing some sort of traditional romantic deal with my sweetie
12(16.0%)
I am staying at home with my spouse/S.O. and thinking about when we used to do things
10(13.3%)
I am spending a quiet evening with friends and/or loved ones
10(13.3%)
I am writing an insane, profanity-laced tirade against the greeting card industry
1(1.3%)
I am having a birthday party
1(1.3%)
I am celebrating Lupercalia with my pagan sasquatch amigos
1(1.3%)
I am pedantically reminding people that St. Valentine's feast day was removed from the Church calendar in 1969
5(6.7%)
I am having sex with as many people as possible, as often as possible
0(0.0%)
the same thing I do every night: nothin'
29(38.7%)
I am doing a scientific experiment where I stare up at the gum stuck to the underside of my desk and figure out how much gin it takes to kill someone
6(8.0%)

How do you react when you encounter someone who dislikes cursing and says things like "doodie" and "wee-wee" and "heck"?

I respect their wishes and conduct myself accordingly
6(8.0%)
I try not to giggle too much
35(46.7%)
I immediately insert the word "cocksucker" into every sentence I utter
20(26.7%)
I am like that myself!
3(4.0%)
I have never encountered a person like that
11(14.7%)

Similarly, what is your attitude concerning "the n-word"?

I don't say it ever for any reason
27(36.0%)
I only say it in an ironic context
21(28.0%)
I wanna say it real bad, but I know it's not right
4(5.3%)
I only say it in my rap songs
5(6.7%)
I say it all the time because I am "politically incorrect"
0(0.0%)
I say it all the time because I am "a big fat fucking racist"
1(1.3%)
I am a person of color and this poll question makes me want to punch you in the neck
1(1.3%)
I don't know why anyone would use that ugly word when they could just say 'Negroid'
7(9.3%)
just thinking about this question makes me feel ucky
6(8.0%)
wait, what word are we talking about?
3(4.0%)

Have you ever worn a uniform?

I have worn one as a Boy Scout/Girl Scout or as part of some other youth organization
8(10.7%)
I have worn one as a member of the military
0(0.0%)
I have worn one as a public servant in government employ
0(0.0%)
I have worn one as required by my job
4(5.3%)
I wore one in high school for band/cheer/ROTC/etc.
1(1.3%)
I have worn one as part of an organized sports team
9(12.0%)
I have worn one as part of some kinky-ass sex thing
1(1.3%)
I have never worn a uniform for any reason
2(2.7%)
I am wearing a uniform right now
0(0.0%)
I have worn one for another reason, not listed here
2(2.7%)

All of the sudden you are a man named Clive, and you have a large moustache in an outdated style. What do you do for a living?

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  • 23 comments

  • HONK

    If I was to wish someone a happy birthday today, would it be crepedelbebe? You're goddamn right it would.

  • I'm too stoned to give a full accounting

    I went to Austin this weekend. As you may know, my beloved first-generation iPod, Misty II, fatally deceased herself recently, and I got a new 80G…

  • Notes from a day

    * Stringing a crossbow is usually considered a two-man job. But when one of the two men is me, the other man is unnecessary. Also, it is possible to…