Gun-totin', Chronic-smokin' Hearse Initiator (ludickid) wrote,
Gun-totin', Chronic-smokin' Hearse Initiator
ludickid

Idull

Once again, the fellas are so boring that I am forced to write stuff and only sort of pay attention to them, although I will admit that they were less dull than they have been the last two weeks. I'd say the cream is rising to the top, but there is no cream here, only curdled 1% milk, and it's not so much rising as it is floating to the edges of the cup in gelatinous blobs.

Anyway, in brief:

Blake likes 311, which is a band I mostly remember from some guy on an old music forum I once frequented arguing should occupy Nirvana's spot in the cultural firmament because their lyrics are positive and uplifting and won't bum out our teenagers. Blake is better than he has been before, but he's still not very good. I think he'll survive.

Sanjaya has yet to show the world that he's capable of doing anything more than looking like a Raggedy Ajay doll, but apparently that's enough, since he's failed to get voted off despite my numerous requests that he do so. He'll last just to make me angry.

Sundance sang a Pearl Jam song, which would probably annoy me more if I liked Pearl Jam, but I don't. However, I don't hate Pearl Jam, and I certainly don't hate Pearl Jam as much as I hate Sundance. I am convinced his continued existence is due to college pranksters who think the name "Sundance Head" is funny.

Chris Richardson, or "Thin Chris", is the male equivalent of Haley: he sticks around because he's totally inoffensive and mildly attractive, but you can't remember a single thing about him five seconds after he stops singing. However, in this crowd, that's enough to stand out, so he'll probably last a good while.

I was busy doing something else while Jared was singing, so I have no idea what he was like. However, that's been my reaction every time I actually have heard Jared sing, so I'm not sure I really missed out.

Brandon shows off by accompanying himself, which I didn't intend to be a masturbation reference when I started writing this, but you gotta get your jokes where you can in these recaps. Brandon's never really impressed me much, but this was probably his best performance to date; he might be a late favorite.

Phil Stacey has a new baby, who he'll soon get a chance to spend a lot of time with, if you catch my drift.

Chris Sligh, or "Fat Chris", was kinda disappointing this time out -- no real punch to his performance, and I really think there's a good chance that, as the only guy on the show with a descernible sense of humor, he might be getting bored with the whole thing. Still, he's a standout, and ought to be safe until the finals under the Ruben Studdard Clause (meaning he'll win, but Sanjaya will get all the attention afterwards).

GONE: Phil, Sundance. I wanna say Sanjaya, who continues to suck, but America keeps thwarting me. Maybe I should vote. I'm part of the problem! Also, Jared might be gone, depending on how he was, I dunno.

Note: A surprising number of you, according to the most recent poll, are saddened that I like this show. In my turn, I am saddened by your sadness. Now we're all sad! :(
Tags: teevee
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