Khalid Mohammed's role in the U.S.S. Cole attack, the London subway bombing, the al-Q'aeda attacks in Spain, the assassination of JFK, the disappearance of Judge Crater, the suppression of the electric car, the Black Plague, and the Holocaust is still unclear, as are his operational ties to Chechnyan terrorists, Colombian narcotraffickers, Tamil separatists, and Martian invasion forces. But several things are now certain:
1. Guantanamo is totally awesome and everyone should shut up about it now.
2. Torture obviously gets results.
3. It's a good thing reporters are banned from these tribunals, because they probably would have just laughed at the Sheikh's outlandish claims, the bunch of commie traitors.
4. All the leftists who have been bitching about our failure to catch Osama bin-Laden can shut up now, because we have the guy who really did it so who even cares about bin-Laden anyway?
5. The timing of these astonishing revelations certainly has nothing to do with the fact that Alberto Gonzalez may be shitcanned today, right after all the journalists hit the bars, for his part in the political firings of U.S. government attorneys who failed the Bush administration's ideological test. Nothing whatsoever.
*: I know it sounds like I'm making that stuff up, but no. No.