March 12, 2007 - March 18, 2007: Parking fee inexplicably raised to $5. Advance warning is given via shortwave radio from a broadcast station near Murmansk. Reason given: "spring break". Parking lot capitalizes off huge influx of drunken college students headed for Sea World, Alamo, store that sells cowboy hats.
March 19 - March 22, 2007: Parking fee lowers, but to $3 instead of $2. Announcement is made via medium of whale songs.
March 23, 2007: Parking fee inexplicably raised to $5. Advance warning is given via semaphore flags positioned at US Army base in Greenland. Reason given: "March madness", which is apparently some sort of mental disease that affects people's ability to give you advance warning about changes in their fee structure. When queried about possible cost of parking on the 26th, lot employee gives answer "not sure".
Note to self: locate and tamper with Keno wheel used to determine fees.