Gun-totin', Chronic-smokin' Hearse Initiator (ludickid) wrote,
Gun-totin', Chronic-smokin' Hearse Initiator
ludickid

Iss yore birstay

What I DIDN'T say in that entry is that before the concert, my friend and I were waiting for the bus to take us to the Metro, and all of the sudden, speeding towards us from the west like a blonde comet, came a tiny, skinny, short, flaxen-tressed girl with no ass.

She was running in that bouncy, girly way that women run when they're wearing heels, even though she was not wearing heels. She was a few years younger than me and judging from her scent, she had recently bathed her entire body in cheap Scotch. She wass drunker than the drunkest person at Drunky O'Drunks House of Big Drunks.

She took up a position halfway between us and the gutter, literally and metaphorically, and spoke in what appeared to be a Swedish accent:

"Oh my Got you guys I yust got firet from my job!"

The next few minutes are all a blur, probably because I was getting a contact blitz from the reek of drugstore liquor coming off her in waves. I do remember her saying that she "hated her job and fock it" and that possibly it was her "birstay", and also she did a number of cheerful, inebriated dances. I briefly wondered what her job had been, though I did not wonder why she got fired from it.

Later, she got off the bus, and ran down the street towards the lesbian bowling alley, staggering as far as her drunk little legs could carry her. She looked so happy. GOOD LUCK, POLLUTED JOBLESS SWEDISH GIRL!
Tags: diary, drunk
Subscribe

  • The Party of What People?

    This will be my last entry of 2016.  Next year will begin, barring some unexpected act of fate, with the ascension to the presidency of Donald…

  • Anno Terribilis

    2016, the little year that absolutely could not, is almost over, and with the exception of people for whom it was a raging success —…

  • Shalom and the Jewish Jesus

    Shalom Auslander got the best possible start on having a sickly fatalistic sense of humor:  he was a miserable Jew from the day he was born. As…

  • Post a new comment

    Error

    default userpic

    Your IP address will be recorded 

    When you submit the form an invisible reCAPTCHA check will be performed.
    You must follow the Privacy Policy and Google Terms of use.
  • 6 comments