Gun-totin', Chronic-smokin' Hearse Initiator (ludickid) wrote,
Gun-totin', Chronic-smokin' Hearse Initiator
ludickid

Speed is the key

I am not a good person. Unlike a lot of other people in similar situations, I will not go to my grave thinking I am a good person who just never got any breaks and was the victim of this or that unfair injustice that kept me from being truly happy and fulfilled. I am a fuckup and a loser and I know it, and starting from there, I try and do what I can to be happy and not make other peoples' lives too miserable. But sometimes I do. Sometimes I do things that hurt people -- even hurt people I care about -- and often I do things that hurt myself. At these times, relentless self-loathing introvert that I am, I ask myself: why did I do that? What's wrong with me? Am I sick? Am I ignorant? Am I simply lacking some quality that lets me understand what I'm doing, or am I just subject to some pathological complex where I know what I'm doing is wrong and I just can't stop myself? Or is it that, in the end, I am evil?

Oddly enough, these are the exact same questions I ask when I am driving, and I get stuck behind someone who is driving at least ten miles per hour under the speed limit.
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