Gun-totin', Chronic-smokin' Hearse Initiator (ludickid) wrote,
Gun-totin', Chronic-smokin' Hearse Initiator

Vice Watch

I like to keep a running tab of my level of indulgence in various vices. This lets me shape my future and see how far I've come, as a man and as an American. Let's see where we are now.

ALCOHOL: Oh, yes, very much so, indeed. Not only have I been shoring up the home bar (now that I actually have a bar, sort of) and making nightly efforts to deplete my Scotch supply (the Peat Monster calamityjon got me is entirely gone), but I've actually been attending happy hour with my co-workers at a joint that features boutique gin. Liveracious!

DRUGS: Since I have yet to find a good, safe source for weed here in SATX, I honestly haven't been zooting nearly as much as I'd like to recently. If I make a trip to Austin sometime soon, though, I'm going to load up, stop at a head shop and get a new narghile, and commence to wasting the remainder of my life. I occasionally suffer from pain, so it's medicinal.

GAMBLING: I have recently rediscovered my love of wagering, and am not only longing for another poker night with the Austin contingent, but am making lots of petty spot bets around the office. However, I don't think this will bloom into a full-blown addiction, not so much because I have tremendous willpower or am especially skilled at gaming, but more because I am a cheapskate.

PROSTITUTION: The fact that I have not yet and probably never will engage the services of a sex worker has a lot less to do with morality than it does shame, embarrassment, and a vague and almost certainly misplaced sense of propriety. However, I will cop to a substantial increase (from "none" to "some") in my recent intake of pornography.

Sadly, my vices these days tend more towards Post-War American Lazy Man (sleeping late, eating too much grilled meat, watching television) than Pre-War American Arch-Criminal (navigating the underworld, gaming the system, undermining the social order). I'm just another boring old fuck co-opted by his PlayStation. On the other hand, though, I'm still better-looking than J. Edgar Hoover, either in or out of a dress.

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