Stand still, laddie!
Because it's time for you to HELP ME NAME A CHARACTER IN MY NEW FICTION PROJECT*! Lord have mercy! Spare our timid souls! What an exciting opportunity to take part in something that will likely never be published, and from which you will not see a single penny if it is! Yes, if you come up with a name I really like for the female lead of this story, you will get the vast honor of being cited in the Acknowledgements -- and fuck-all else! Maybe if I am feeling very generous, I will buy you a drink and give you a dollar with which to tip the barman. How often does an opportunity like this fall steaming upon your unsuspecting lap? NOT VERY!
What you need to know about this character:
1. She is female, heterosexual, Anglo-Saxon, Catholic, and Caucasian.
2. Although the story takes place in the present day, she speaks in a curious amalgam of antiquated slang.
3. She is in her late 20s.
4. She is Great British**, although in the early goings of the story, her exact place of origin is indeterminate: she could be Irish, Scottish, Welsh, English, Cornish, or even Canadian. Her accent, like her slang, veers wildly around the empire upon which the sun seldom sets.
5. She is quite possibly insane.
So, there you go. Now:
What should be the name of the character described above?
*: Please suggest a first and a last name, thxvmuch.
**: Incidentally, to those of you on my Friends list who are from the UK -- if, in conversation with foreigners, you are asked your nationality, what do you say? Do you say "I am British" or "I am from the UK" or "I am English/Scottish/Welsh/etc."? What's the standard, here?